A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day....10-09-02

Billie and daisyscarlett

[lodwick]

G*d - I hope so. ;-)

[lodwick]

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

We need... = I want...

I am sorry = you'll be sorry

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

[JustAmy]

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They are great at begging.
8. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9. They leave their toys everywhere.
10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.



Heh Heh Heh
My ex-wife sent this to me.

[lodwick]

MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry = I am hungry

I am sleepy = I am sleepy

I am tired = I am tired

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

I love you = Let's have sex now

I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you

[Scully]

My hearty congratulations to you, Physicist!

[abner]

Congratulations on being two of FR's finest!

[GailA]

Evening ALL..Congrats Physicist on being one of FR's finest.

Well not much new on the election, weasel phil is still contemplating breaking the campaign law, cause Van Hilleary had Dubya and Cheney in for him..yet weasel phil won't come with in 10 miles of the anti-gun, high taxes AlGorebatross..weasel phil says this is a State race and he is doing this on a local level...HUH I thought AlGorebatross was native to Tennessee how much more local can one get? Dubay was here Tues in Knoxville about 4,000 showed up..though most papers are reporting about 1,000 the Chattanoogan is reporting 4,000.

On another not got to get that husband of mine a JOB he is seriously cutting in on my computer time.

[lodwick]

[JustAmy]

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The owner says, "How about a dog?" The man replies, "Come on, a dog can't do everything."

The owner says "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!" The owner thinks for a minute. Then says, "I've got it! A centipede!" The man says, "Centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything but, ok ... I'll try a centipede."

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away. The countertops cleaned. The appliances sparkling. The floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed. The furniture cleaned and dusted. The pillows on the sofa plumped. The plants are watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This is a pet that can really do everything."

He says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes later, no centipede.

The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back by now. Forty-five minutes later, still no centipede. The man can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where was the centipede?

He goes to the front door, opens it, and there's the centipede sitting right outside the door. The man says, "Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago to run down to the corner and just get me a newspaper. What's the story?"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm puttin' on my shoes!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[MeekOneGOP]

You're welcomed. I didn't see it since my Satellite TV is hard-wired to FOX News Channel (thank goodness!).

I was pinged to that article, and, yeah, it made blood boil, too !

[lodwick]

That is funny - thankski. ;-)

[MeekOneGOP]

The first little pig walked into the bar and said....

[snicker] [snicker]

Turn your speakers up, then
Click on the pic, lol !

[daisyscarlett]

I am so sorry that you missed the FReep tonight, Pip. But do not despair, there will be other days and other FReeps...

[daisyscarlett]

Just got back from the movies. Saw the new flick with Dustin Hoffman and Susan Sarandon (yeah, I know both big time pain in the butts)...It is called Midnight Mile and I enjoyed it....probably classified as a "Woman"s flick" but "sensitve" males might like it too...lol...Glad you got to spend some time here today...

[daisyscarlett]

Can't wait to see photos of you in your new t-shirt....Are you still planning on wearing it at the Friday night Fresno Freep?

[Mixer]

I have used Snopes in the past for verification of storis. I had my doubts about this one to start with in fact I questioned the person who sent it to me because the first flaw was that BP and Amoco are owned by the same company. Oh well I hope everyone is as understanding as you. Thanks for being a good FRiend.

[daisyscarlett]

I miss Louie today too...Hope he is having a great day whatever he is up to...

[daisyscarlett]

Thanks for stopping by Agent Scully....

[daisyscarlett]

We are sure getting to know some very fine Philly Freepers...First you and VOC and now Physicist...Glad you stopped by. How is Fidget? Did he ever catch that mouse under your desk...lol...