[Lancey Howard]

SpongeBob is the best cartoon on TV (not counting The Simpsons and Family Guy and Hey, Arnold). SpongeBob is a fry cook. Fry cooks are not gay. Now SpongeBob's pet snail - - the snail who meows like a cat and is named Gary - - he might be gay. And I'm pretty sure that Sandy, the squirrel who lives in Bikini Bottom, is a lesbian. Mr Krab is definitely not gay, and neither is his niece, Pearl. Squidward and Patrick are platonic, I bet. And that boating teacher who ended up in jail because of SpongeBob's poor driving? She is a spinster. A spinster, for sure.

[Jeff Chandler]

Sandy can't be a lesbian. She's from Texas.

[Xenalyte]

SpongeBob is the best cartoon on TV (not counting The Simpsons and Family Guy and Hey, Arnold).

Sniffle, sniffle . . . I really miss Family Guy. Like The Tick, it was far too cool to last.

[ArneFufkin]

I'm still trying to process that Fenton Quest-Hadji dynamic.

[frodolives]

Actually, the driving instructor is a pufferfish, not just a spinster. Gays seem to see "gayness" everywhere, as do the Homophobes. Birds of a feather, I s'pose.

[gcruse]

Actually, everybody named Gary is gay, aren't they?