Dear Jerk,
Because I haven't had a hit in who knows when (and far too much time on my hands,) I decided to write you. Also, I have no talent at all and when I sing it sounds like someone beating Yoko Ono with a retarded person (that is, using them as the weapon.)Did I mention that I am worthless? Anyway, the reason I'm wasting your time is this . . . LOOK AT ME, I THINK I'M IMPORTANT! I know I have no basis in fact with this, but George W. Bush is evil and stupid at the same time. When he's not evil, he's stupid. Sadumb Hussine is our best friend, he told me he likes my singing. We need to protect him, so someone will still buy my albums. LOOK AT ME, I THINK I'M IMPORTANT. We also have to protect the high standard of civil rights Arabs afford their women. Speaking as a talentless self-loathing Jewish-American, I love the Arab people and their earthy ways. I have embraced their high culture by wiping my large behind with my hand. Isn't my husand, James Streisand, dreamy? LOOK AT ME, I THINK I'M IMPORTANT. We must stop America from protecting and defending themselves. I support any Arab attacks on the Imperalist America. Listen,I know you democrats are afraid, I can smell it from here with my huge honker. Don't be afraid, The True Democrats will thank you after the second attack on the boojwa-z Amerika. LOOK AT ME, I THINK I'M IMPORTANT.
Luv,
Babs
P.S. Please be sure and protect my compound in California.
P.P.S. LOOK AT ME, I THINK I'M IMPORTANT.