Obviously you are among those that don't understand the difference between spanking and beating.
You had one child and defered taking her to a restaurant due to her behavior.
I had four kids and took them to restaurants and taught them proper behavior. When you have four small children at one table, silliness can get out of hand quickly. A quick swat on the back of the hand with a chop stick gets their attention quickly, lets them know that they are out of line, and does no harm to the child.
However, since you stayed out of restaurants due to the poor behavior of your single child and I didn't have to with my four kids, I should listen to you? BTW, after a short while, my kids got so used to adults coming over to the table and complimenting their behavior that they began to behave themselves and not need the hand swats.
I hear ya! I think that parents need to have reasonable expectations when it comes to outings. You cannot expect to drag toddlers around the mall for 5 hours straight, especially if an afternoon nap is a part of their routine. You can't expect to take a tired toddler out to eat at 8:00 PM on Saturday night and not get eye-rolling looks from the dining couples who hired a sitter for their night out! Always have a stratedgy! Before leaving home, tuck a much loved toy in a bag and don't pull it out untill its needed! When driving, point out interesting things....talk-talk-talk. Kids love to talk and be heard. I used to let mine help me shop in the grocery store: "Whaddya think--yogurt covered raisens or pudding?" One time I saw a mother ignoring her tired, whinging, foot slamming toddler (trailing behind her)..she walked ahead and made like she didn't know him....he was getting what he wanted--the license to be totally obnoxiuous and not be reprimanded for it. Also saw a mother ingnore her tantrum-pitching pre-schooler laying on his back in the shopping buggy, screaming "you bitch--you bitch" between sobs and kicking like a monster. Gee, wonder where he got the nick name for his mother?