Posted on 09/23/2002 8:20:34 AM PDT by Asmodeus
I say let's sue fat people. If they're using that much of a PUBLIC resource by their irresponsible behavior, they should be the ones ponying up.
Really. Two teenagers suing McD/Wendys/BK/KFC for their obesity? What were their parents doing to control the kids' diets?
And they said this would and could never happen...... we smokers knew better.
A sudden hot sweat had broken out all over Winston's body. His face remained completely inscrutable. Never show dismay! Never show resentment! A single flicker of the eyes could give you away. He stood watching while the instructress raised her arms above her head and -- one could not say gracefully, but with remarkable neatness and efficiency -- bent over and tucked the first joint of her fingers under her toes.
'There, comrades! That's how I want to see you doing it. Watch me again. I'm thirty-nine and I've had four children. Now look.' She bent over again. 'You see my knees aren't bent. You can all do it if you want to,' she added as she straightened herself up. 'Anyone under forty-five is perfectly capable of touching his toes. We don't all have the privilege of fighting in the front line, but at least we can all keep fit. Remember our boys on the Malabar front! And the sailors in the Floating Fortresses! Just think what they have to put up with. Now try again. That's better, comrade, that's much better,' she added encouragingly as Winston, with a violent lunge, succeeded in touching his toes with knees unbent, for the first time in several years.
- "1984", Chapter 3
Or, you could use diet and exercise to keep yourself fit and healthy, all the while realizing that in a free country, what other people eat is none of your damned business.
This HAS to be a joke. Fat people are fat because they eat food!
We already have something just as ineffective. It's called the "Department of Education."
The year, 2007
The place, a fast food restaurant on the 'watch list'.
A young, blonde, thin FG (Fattengruppen) officer strides up and down the aisle, occasionally stopping and curtly snapping his fingers in the face of a diner.
Those diners promptly hand over their DFRC's, (Daily Food Record Cards) which the FG officer examines and returns.
Until he arrives at a table occupied by a pudgy housewife, who takes a moment too long to hide the fries...
Seizing the fries, our young officer follows up with a vicious slashing attack on the Rotund Roxanne using his riding crop.
He mashes the fries against a menu, smearing them in a circle until the fat they contain renders the thin paper transparent.
Holding the menu between his eyes and the sobbing woman's eyes he mocks her, "It vould appear that you haff been eating zumthing forbidden, yes?"
As the emaciated guards take her in charge there's a sudden crashing noise at the door...
In rush three bloated, middle-aged men wearing pullover shirts with horizontal stripes and berets, armed with Sten guns.
The restaurant is demolished afterward, yes.
But Fattengruppen Uberweasel Schmidt is not alive to see the bulldozers do their work.
This has got to be out of "The Onion."
There's no way that this could even be remotely close to being true...
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