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Ted Rall: IF YOU HAVE DIGNITY, THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON The Cheesification of 9-11-02
Yahoo News ^ | Sept 4, 2002 | Ted Rall

Posted on 09/09/2002 7:31:24 PM PDT by jern

By Ted Rall

The Cheesification of 9-11-02

NEW YORK--Are you the kind of person who believes that attaching a plastic American flag to your SUV makes a major patriotic statement? If so, you're no doubt anticipating the looming anniversary of the September 11 attacks with the enthusiasm of a nine-year-old on Christmas morning.

Then there's the rest of us.

Don't get the rest of us wrong. We love America too. But we are understandably tense as we approach what is likely to be the greatest orgy of cheesy sentimentality, naked political opportunism and rank corporate necrophilia in this country's history. Well before the millennium, we Americans had already created a consumer and political culture so simultaneously compelling and appalling that other people wanted to kill us. To that tawdry tradition add the self-pity, sanctimoniousness and self-congratulations that have characterized the last year, filter them through the cynical minds of a fiendish array of politicians and corporate marketers looking to capitalize on the television event of the century, and we're set for a world class schmaltzfest.

By the end of 9-11-02, you may wish Osama had killed you.

Boston's Logan International Airport, for example, has scheduled an unintentionally ironic memorial gesture at 8:46 a.m.--the time when the first jet struck the World Trade Center. For one minute planes will not be permitted to take off or land. Given that Logan's crappy security allowed two of the four planes to be hijacked in the first place, one might expect the Massachusetts Port Authority to come up with a more appropriate sign of respect for the victims--say, hiring people smarter than stones to scan baggage correctly. But no. A runway of briefly stalled planes will have to do.

Here in New York, corporations are planning to celebrate the second Wednesday in September with an array of gleefully gauche gestures. According to managing consultant Andrea Eisenberg, many companies plan to allow employees to come to work late(perhaps since only employees who arrived before 9 a.m. died in the attacks) and will display the American flag (never mind that many corporations have moved their HQ to Caribbean tax havens). Also look for "a personal statement by the CEO or office head, delivered in person" (hey--they can announce the latest round of layoffs at the same time!). One business "is naming conference rooms after employees who were lost on 9-11."

Don't laugh--they could have been storage closets. Or fire exits.

Naturally, most Americans will experience "this day unlike any other" the same way they experience all the others--while watching television. The more mystifying programming offerings include a repeatedly-broadcast three-minute Blue Man Group video about "scraps of paper found in Brooklyn that blew over Ground Zero," an ESPN special about the FDNY football team and post-Taliban sports (!) and ABC Family's griefsploitation piece "Love Legacy: The Babies of 9-11," which takes a "look at the pregnant wives left widowed on that day." Check your local listings.

Fortunately, those who stare at books instead of screens will not be left out of Cheezathon 2002. The most anticipated September 11 book is the latest installment in that kitsch masterwork, "Chicken Soup for the Soul of America." Start with ten thousand Afghan civilians, bomb into mulch, stir with processed plutonium from spent daisy-cutters, and voilà--the dead are avenged!

Of course, mondo memorial madness would not be complete without the biggest cheese of all. George W. Bush will spend the day in quiet contemplation as he streaks from one disaster site to another, beginning at the White at 8:46 a.m. with--you guessed it--a minute of silence. He only has a minute, because then he's off to the Pentagon ( news - web sites), the crash site near Shanksville, Pennsylvania and Ground Zero in New York City, where he'll appear at 4:30 p.m. (Memo to Osama: That's disinformation. Neither Bush nor the entire U.S. Congress will be in NYC that day.)

Generalissimo El Busho caps off his madcap day of high-speed mourning with a televised speech at 9:01 p.m. (I assume a lucky advertiser paid big bucks for the 9 p.m. slot). "I think it will be a reminder of the importance of liberty," promised Ari Fleischer ( news - web sites), assuming a dignified tone, promised, "and how our United States stands strong throughout the world in promoting liberty." I, for one, am anxious to hear how Bush's post-9-11 policies, which involve sucking up to brutal dictators in Pakistan, Uzbekistan and Saudi Arabia while plotting a coup against the democratically-elected president of Venezuela, promote liberty throughout the world.

For my money, the most gloriously over-the-top moment of this gloriously garish spectacle will occur in a city that had nothing to do with 9-11 but is anxious to get in on the grieving. In Los Angeles, residents of West Hollywood will "come out of their homes, restaurants, hotels and nightclubs and join together at sunset. Participants will simultaneously and silently light candles, hold American flags and pay special and personal tribute to the victims." Call them poseurs, call them New Yorker wannabes, but don't call them lazy. A press release assures that "many residents are expected to walk from their homes to the candlelight vigil."

Walk? In L.A.? Maybe it's true. Maybe 9-11 did change everything.

(Ted Rall's new book, a graphic travelogue about his recent coverage of the Afghan war titled "To Afghanistan ( news - web sites) and Back," is now in its second edition. Ordering and review-copy information are available at nbmpub.com.)


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: tedrall
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To: jern; All
Be sure to watch Rush on Wednesday, VP.Cheney is going to be on for an hour starting in the second segment.
This should be good.
21 posted on 09/09/2002 8:05:54 PM PDT by tet68
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Comment #22 Removed by Moderator

Comment #23 Removed by Moderator

To: dighton

He looks severely impacted to me.
Perhaps an extensive High Colonic is in order, Perhaps oatmeal and Flax.
He'll feel sssoooooooooooo much better, probably all that rich Afghan food.

24 posted on 09/09/2002 8:14:33 PM PDT by tet68
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To: dighton
Duh! I should have thought ,
it must be all that CHEESE he's going on about.
25 posted on 09/09/2002 8:16:05 PM PDT by tet68
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To: lainie
If the coverage were to include "rael-time" coveraeg of the event with all the gore and horror possible, I would agree with you.

But the coverage in my opinion will be milktoast and weepy. Images of the WRC being attacked need to be run on an endless loop. But the powers that be dont really want us to remember, just to watch their "tribute" In this aspect the coverage will be cheesy.

We must cry as well as laugh, for life is for the living. There will be plenty of time for dying later.

While I don't agree with every word in Ted's attempt at humor, I did find parts making me smile. Come on, the Blue Man Group doing tribute to debris is silly, and thus cheesy.

These are not traitorous words, it is not a traitorus column.

26 posted on 09/09/2002 8:17:38 PM PDT by abigkahuna
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To: jern
"Well before the millennium, we Americans had already created a consumer and political culture so simultaneously compelling and appalling that other people wanted to kill us."

There it is, predictable as can be -- The sonovabtch blames US.

27 posted on 09/09/2002 8:22:40 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: Just_another_man
But thats the point, the cheesification of 9-11 IS trivializing what happened. There will be no visuals of what really happened that day, it will be filtered so as not to arouse our blood lust for revenge. Don't you see?

The trivialization of 9-11 through media coverage serves the left/liberal agenda of dulling us to a weepy cheese fest.

As I stated before, unless the television media runs graphic loops of the attack and aftermath, the coverage will be wothless. There is an agenda that does not want you to see the events as they originally unfolded....watch and see....

28 posted on 09/09/2002 8:26:14 PM PDT by abigkahuna
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To: jern
Hey Ted, EFF YOU.
29 posted on 09/09/2002 8:27:21 PM PDT by Musket
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To: billybudd
This article is hilarious and his main point is true - 9/11 has been officially cheesified.

Do you also agree with Rall's moronic insinuation that it was our "compelling and appalling political and consumer culture" that caused the 9/11 attacks?

30 posted on 09/09/2002 8:29:25 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: jern
Ted Rall anagram = Tall Red.
31 posted on 09/09/2002 8:31:09 PM PDT by Consort
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To: jern
"I think it will be a reminder of the importance of liberty,"promised Ari Fleischer

Does this mean Bubba-2 is going to kill the Office of Reich Security and the so-called Patriot's Act?

BTW,ya just gotta wonder what the Muslim fundies think about the USA holding celebrations all day to commemerate Bin Laden's victory.

32 posted on 09/09/2002 8:36:20 PM PDT by sneakypete
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To: abigkahuna
I disagreed with his general tone, but you gotta admit this was pretty funny:

For one minute planes will not be permitted to take off or land. Given that Logan's crappy security allowed two of the four planes to be hijacked in the first place, one might expect the Massachusetts Port Authority to come up with a more appropriate sign of respect for the victims--say, hiring people smarter than stones to scan baggage correctly. But no. A runway of briefly stalled planes will have to do. LOL
33 posted on 09/09/2002 8:38:46 PM PDT by Libertina
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To: abigkahuna
A Blue Man Group tribute to debris found in Brooklyn? Now thats wacky.

No,that's showbiz,and you can bet some advertiser is paying big bucks to sponsor it. Looks like we are going to have a national "Oprah moment".

34 posted on 09/09/2002 8:39:40 PM PDT by sneakypete
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To: JoeSixPack1
I guess patriotism in any form isn't sophisticated enough

Joe,stop and think for a minute,ok? This has NOTHING to do with patriotism. It has to do with making a profit from the bones of the murder victims,while helping the terrorists celebrate and get even MORE publicity out of their successful attack? Did we celebrate the sinking of the Lusitania? The bombing of Pearl Harbor? No,we celebrate the day we achieved victory,NOT the day our enemies were victorious in attacking us.

35 posted on 09/09/2002 8:43:00 PM PDT by sneakypete
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To: Just_another_man; Jack-A-Roe; Texasforever
There was nothing humorous about 9-11. I don't see how anyone can make light of it in anyway. You don't love your country if you want to ignore that America was attacked on that day. If you think it was funny, then I think you might be living in the wrong country my friend.

You must have totally misunderstood what I said. What is funny is not 9/11, but the total parody that the media has made of it. The constant drone of solemn references to 9/11 almost seem to require an "Amen". Toss in the cliches self-aggrandizingly being spouted by whoever wishes to capture the respect accorded to those who died on 9/11. The idea of America-hating U2 giving a tribute to 9/11 and of network "specials" on 9/11 makes me reach for my barf bag.
But there's nothing I can do about any of this - which is essentially the creation of a new national religion. Everyone invokes and responds to the invocation of "9/11" in what I can only assume is a process of desensitization. Sorry, I don't want to substitute the memorialization of 9/11 for 9/11 itself. I will remember it as it was and don't need any "tributes" to remind me.
36 posted on 09/09/2002 9:51:05 PM PDT by billybudd
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To: sneakypete
USA holding celebrations

What "celebrations"? That is a low.

37 posted on 09/09/2002 9:53:36 PM PDT by Texasforever
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To: Jack-A-Roe
This article is hilarious and his main point is true - 9/11 has been officially cheesified.

Do you also agree with Rall's moronic insinuation that it was our "compelling and appalling political and consumer culture" that caused the 9/11 attacks?


No, I don't agree with that. Notice that I said "his main point is true", because I didn't want you to get the idea that I'm an America-basher, like he is. But he is correct in his basic assessment.
38 posted on 09/09/2002 9:58:33 PM PDT by billybudd
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To: Texasforever
This pussy would only take about 3 sec
39 posted on 09/09/2002 10:02:47 PM PDT by paul51
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To: sneakypete
No,we celebrate the day we achieved victory,NOT the day our enemies were victorious in attacking us.

That's why I'll be avoiding the television set on Sep 11. With the exception of NYC and the Pentagon and maybe the area in Pennsylvania, it's best that the rest of us go to work or go fishing and continue on with our lives. Even Rush is going to avoid the Sep 11 sob-fest....good for him!

40 posted on 09/09/2002 10:03:01 PM PDT by Fred Mertz
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