Posted on 08/24/2002 8:40:49 PM PDT by LarryLied
FOR the second time in 10 minutes yesterday, Lizzie Grubman and her potty posse took over the ladies' room. And wouldn't you know it. Nature called.
So there I was, on the third floor of Suffolk County's Criminal Court building, poised outside the lair of the peroxided Mercedes maven, heretofore to be known as the Princess of Pee. But just as I was about to seek my own private audience with the public plumbing, I was stared down by a man who must be 7 feet tall.
"Please wait 'til she's done," the bruiser requested.
This brought a compelling new aspect into the class war at the heart of the case of The People vs. Elizabeth Grubman:
Here outside a public bathroom in the people's courthouse was stationed a private bodyguard - one of six - setting up a rope line before Lizzie's VIP loo.
Having just gotten lost way out here, in a part of Long Island where some folks live in homes delivered off the backs of trucks and young women don't ordinarily drive into crowds in reverse, I had to go. As I saw it, I had three options:
1. I could channel Lizzie, look up into Sasquatch's belt buckle and declare: "F - - - you, white trash!" Or:
2. I could sound the spoiled rich chick's battle cry: "Don't you know who I am?"
But seeing that I can't afford the kind of reconstructive facial surgery on display from various members of the potty posse, I resorted to the kind of behavior that prior victims of Lizzie's famously impatient temper reverted to when Lizzie cut in front of the line.
I waited.
They say the Hamptons are now over. Throwing around one's weight is out. Cursing underlings just isn't done anymore. But then you watched Lizzie prance around the courthouse yesterday as if it were an exclusive nightclub.
Then you listened to her lawyer, Stephen Scaring, boast repeatedly that Lizzie's plea deal, in which she gets 60 days in jail for admitting she left the scene of an accident - but not driving drunk - "establishes, No. 1, that she was not intoxicated and, No. 2, it was not intentional."
What an absurd stretch.
So what did we learn from our Season of Lizzie? When in trouble - run! Not a very satisfying conclusion.
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