Posted on Tue, Aug. 20, 2002
Dining dilemma a shock to our system
SCANA's recent decision to bar employees from driving its company vehicles onto the property of Maurice Bessinger's barbecue restaurants, all of which prominently display the Confederate flag, is a controversial one.
The SCANA directive draws a line in the sand by citing Bessinger's divisiveness as a public figure. (No word yet, however, on whether Bessinger has decided to retaliate by banning his employees from using electricity.)
Now while we don't have a huge problem with this policy, we do have some concerns about its having a wider ripple effect, as other major corporations begin to examine where they're going to allow their employees to grab a spot of lunch.
Don't think this could happen? Well, we got a memo Monday from Talk About Town Inc., our parent company in Bismarck, N.D., that outlines exactly where we'll no longer be able to drive the company-owned Talkmobile for a bite of chow.
The list, not surprisingly, includes Maurice's Barbecue, but not for his flying of the flag. The reason cited by the memo was TAT Inc.'s "staunch opposition to mustard-based barbecue."
OK, fair enough. The flavor of barbecue sauces really can excite passions. But what really bothered Talk was the reasoning behind banning us from parking at a string of other eating establishments around town. Some of it was extremely hard to swallow. (Get it? Hard to swallow?)
For instance, we can't dine at Burger King, because the home office "has profound objections to flame-broiling burgers."
But we also can't take a trip to McDonald's, since the memo cited its worry that "Ronald McDonald wears way too much makeup."
We can't go to Lizard's Thicket either, because company policy now strictly forbids us from frequenting "any restaurant that features the name of a reptile with an elongated, scaly body, four legs and tapering tail."
We can't go to Gilligan's, because corporate honchos refuse to let us visit places that "conjure up images of goofy sitcom characters who wear lame hats."
The list really goes on and on, with the following explanations from the TAT CEO:
Yesterdays: "No sad Beatles songs."
Mr. Friendly's: "Too friendly-sounding."
Willy's: "A guy named Willy once picked on us in third grade."
Mangia Mangia: "No foreign language names."
Fuddruckers: "Too easy to mispronounce in a rude way."
The toughest part about sorting through this directive is figuring out where we can eat. But being a good company man, we will abide by the edict. After all, they do own the Talkmobile.
You're not going to see us overreact like state Sen. Glenn McConnell, the Charleston Republican, who's ready to pull the plug on South Carolina's electricity over SCANA's decision. (Plus it strikes us that McConnell's proposed bill to require all SCE&G linemen to eat lunch every day at Piggie Park probably doesn't stand a very good chance of passing next year.)
Today when we go to lunch, we'll just have to play it safe. By the way, can you drive?
Call Talk at (803) 771-8643 or e-mail ntwhite@thestate.com.