Introducing the Houston FRAstros - MLB Replacement Team

21 August 2002 | PetroniDE

[Xenalyte]

We'll make a exception!

All right, what do I get to wear?

[Wondervixen]

>>Well, I ain't playing if I can't wear purple.

You wanna play for the FRockies???

[PetroniDE]

I think you have to wear the uniform, but you can use that sword for the bat. LOL

[HoustonCurmudgeon]

All right, what do I get to wear?

Any damn thing you want! Do not let Petroni bully you into wearing that uniform. I mean if humblegunner can build a gun mount behind the mound, and we have a keg at first base, why do you need to wear an ugly uniform?

[Wondervixen]

I remember how, after my brothers moved out of the house, Dad only had us girls to mold into players, but we were pretty good in high school & big league senior softball.

There were times poor old Dad would forget who he was playing catch with though. He pulled that Mike Flanagan deal with a nail he kept in his sock, putting scratches deep into the cover of the ball & when I complained that it seemed like a perfect waste of a good ball, he read me the riot act. "Your fastball is as straight as an arrow, you don't have a curveball, and you NEED something to make it move!"

When I stopped him and asked how many major league pitchers wore a C cup bra, he shut up and walked off in a huff.

[Aggie Mama]

Can you put my husband on the Reserve List? He bats left and right handed. =) Oh, and he throws right.

[BluesDuke]

When I stopped him and asked how many major league pitchers wore a C cup bra, he shut up and walked off in a huff.

He obviously never heard of Bo Belinsky, God rest his soul, who was probably most likely to end up wearing a C-cup bra (or any size bra) on any given night - of course, it would have been resting momentarily across his chest after whichever young lady had removed it in his, er, honour... ;)

[Wondervixen]

Okay, Playboys & their pecadillo's aside, How many players PERIOD had the body features to need a C Cup? How many had monthly periods? LMAO

I think you see my point, just like Dad did when he snapped out of it and came back to what a waste of time it was trying to make a DAUGHTER into a dream pitching prospect...He did turn me into a pretty good shortstop but softball was as far as I was going.

[BluesDuke]

We wear the Houston Astros uniforms

If it's the exploding-pastel uniform of the late 1970s-1980s, Jesus Louise-us, didn't you guys ever hear of the Eighth Amendment? ;)

Nominations for Ugliest Baseball Uniforms Ever

Houston Astros, 1979-80something.
Atlanta Braves, 1974-90. (Sorry, but those blue slow-pitch beer league jerseys with the feathers on the shoulders just don't match against the 1990s uniform, which is an upgrade of the classic 1950s Braves uniform.)
Pittsburgh Pirates, 1972-80whenever. (Another slo-pitch beer league bust. God love him but the only reason Willie Stargell didn't look ridiculous in that rig was because lamppost-built relief ace Kent Tekulve looked worse!)
Oakland Athletics, 1969-86. (The father of the MLB slo-pitch beer league uniform and it almost made the Pirates' sorry rig look like a tuxedo...)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays, 1998-? (I wouldn't give these uniforms any great style points. On the other hand, you have to consider, almost, just who wears them. You wouldn't give the Devil Rays any great style points, either...)
San Diego Padres, 1978?-1987 (The infamous "human taco" uniforms. Even seeing them now in old photographs, they still look like what someone upchucked after a heavy night of drinking, apologies to the ladies...The San Diego Chicken looked more like a baseball player than the Padres looked in those uniforms. Come to think of it, the Chicken looked more like a baseball player than those Padres - 1984 excepted - without those uniforms...)
Philadelphia Phillies, 1972-94 - I hated that ridiculous P with the shoulder piping and, in the 1990s, the spoiled oatmeal-gray road version. (Not that the baby blue road version of 1972-89 was that great, either). The Phillies uniform of 1950-71 was class (which is more than could be said for the Phillies themselves, most of the time) and the Phils' uniform of 1995-present is a handsome reference to the former.
New York Mets, 1984-94 - The Mets' shoulder and outseam piping killed the simple attractiveness of the classic Met uniform (the murder actually began in 1978, when the Mets finally went to those ridiculous pullover jerseys with the team colour beltlines), and the road version looked even worse. Really blasphemous: a road version of the early 1990s which used the same lettering style across the breast as the (*choke*) Yankee road uniform. I'm not crazy about the blue-white-and-orange-on-black alternative jersey they wear today, but at least today's Mets uniform looks like a baseball uniform, for crying out loud.
San Francisco Giants, 1975?-1985 - Another damn softball uniform. One of the happiest days of my life was when, in the mid-1990s, the Giants went to an upgraded version of their classic 1957-74 uniforms (the home version being, of course, an upgrade of the vintage home uniform of the New York Giants, 1947-57...). I bet you Giant fans were even happier.
Brooklyn Dodgers, 1916 - Would you believe Dem Bums actually wore a uniform that tried to one-up the early pinstripe styles by using cross-stripes that made them look like rolls of graph paper?

Here's a stroll down memory lane for you Astro fans...

[Eaker]

You missed SS; I conceal carry too.

Stay safe; stay armed.

[BluesDuke]

Okay, Playboys & their pecadillo's aside, How many players PERIOD had the body features to need a C Cup? How many had monthly periods?

You've obviously never seen Babe Ruth in an undershirt and casual shorts tootling on a saxophone. As for monthly periods, of course it's doubtful but God only knows how many pro athletes behave as though they were born with terminal PMS (Albert Belle, Kevin Brown, David Wells, Latrel Sprewell, Lawrence Phillips, Allen Iverson, a passel of NFLers, enough boxers who aren't named Mike Tyson, and about half the NHL come to mind...)

[Wondervixen]

Trust me...There's a difference between PMS'ing and being a born & bred asshole. MOST of us don't PMS very bad and when it's over, it's over.

It's kinda like the old joke argument between drunk & ugly..."I may be drunk, but I'll be sober tomorrow".

[BluesDuke]

Trust me...There's a difference between PMS'ing and being a born & bred asshole. MOST of us don't PMS very bad and when it's over, it's over.

Exactly why I made a point of using the term terminal to describe the B&BAs...and I can think offhand of at least two of them who assuredly give women a bad name otherwise (as many bad names as they can think of while they're slapping them around, the bastards...)

[DrewsDad]

OF Sub???

I want to play SS. However, you think I would have learned my lesson after the coach was hitting hard grounders(PO'd after a loss) on a pot-marked infield from a previous rain and being knocked out on a bad hop to the chin.

Go FRastros!

[DrewsDad]

BTW, I can switch hit too, but usually don't unless we're up by 10 runs or playing wiffle ball in the backyard with the kiddie pool for home plate. Oh the memories of head first dives into the pool before you get beaned with a wiffle ball.

[PetroniDE]

We will use today's uniforms. I am not into bad-retro uniforms.

[BluesDuke]

Tell you the truth, I thought the original Astros uniforms of 1965-70 were pretty nice uniforms. So were their road uniforms, which actually stayed the same since the team's Colt .45s birth in 1962. This season's uniform is a nice one, too. Just a shame the original Houston Colts weren't as hot as the pistol displayed across their uniforms...

[jobshopper]

Petroni, Nice meeting you today in Crawford. In my younger years, I played a pretty good second base and willing to give it a try again. Let me know - Eric

[PetroniDE]

JobShopper has been drafted, and add to the 40-man roster. He is eligible for 2B.

Let me know whether you bat left-handed, right-handed, or switch-hitter. We are going to have an intra-squad game early next week, with the FRAstros opener on Friday against the Los Angeles Draft Dodgers, unless the owners/players settle.

[Allegra]

I'll have to be content with being the FRAstros' No. 1 fan. I won't have time for practices as I will have other distractions this autumn. Began the journey last night. :) >