"Sir...I'm going to need you to step away from the teat."
Finally, and not to be outdone: Tre Stinking Arrow. O, how the mighty have fallen! Last July, Tre stepped out of obscurity and on to a 20-foot high ledge to protest pending timber sales at the Eagle Creek stand in Mt. Hood National Forest. The combo platter of acrobatics, perseverance, and poo buckets grabbed more media attention than two years worth of tree-sits.In spite of Tre's auspicious first step into the limelight, he managed to squander these good vibes even faster than Robert Downey, Jr. ruined his early release from prison. A few months after his infamous ledge-sit, Tre ran as the Green Party candidate for U.S. Congress--but along the campaign trail, failed to show up for interviews and speeches. With friends like you, Tre, the Green Party doesn't need enemies.
And, the winner of the S.F.H award goes to What? Wait just a Guy Faulking minute this just in. What's that? Tre Arrow was caught shoplifting? At Nature's?? It seems that in mid-March, while allegedly picking up left-over produce donations, Tre was stopped outside the store for stealing--and we're not kidding--soy-based products, tea tree oil, granola hemp, and chocolate goat milk. At first, he tried to sneak past the inquiring press hounds by dismissing his arrest as a rumor--until the Mercury's own Katia Dunn retrieved the police report. Sheepishly, Tre admitted that security had apprehended him, but held fast to his defense that the guards at Nature's were mistaken. Well, that's all we needed to hear! The S.F.H. award goes to Tre Arrow! Tsk-tsk-tsk. Bad hippie!
"Sir...I'm going to need you to step away from the teat."
Oh, Gawd, too too funny :-)) I'm still snickering....
But what in Hades is "tea tree oil?" And what does one do with it? (No, don't answer that--I do not want you to get banned.)