Sigh...I always hesitate to tell this story.
Let me say from the start that I believe ADD/ADHD does exist, but that it is overdiagnosed and overmedicated. Many, if not most, children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD simply have behavioral problems that can be corrected with discipline and in some cases diet.
HOWEVER, some children really do need something more.
When my son entered the 2nd Grade, his teacher almost immediately suspected him as ADHD. (We later talked to his first grade teacher - we had moved to a different school district - who had the same suspicions but felt 1st grade is too early to diagnose - which is correct).
At the school's recommendation, we took him to our family doctor who literally said to me, "Well, he looks well adjusted, but if the school thinks he needs Ritalin, I'll write the prescription." I walked out and we never took him back.
We found a pediatrician who specialize in kids with ADHD and other disorders. Her own children have ADHD. She spent 2 hours with him on the first visit. She interviewed him, and did a complete physical, interviewed us, interviewed the school guidance counselor and his teachers, and then suggested medication.
We did this hesitantly after my wife read volumes of information. And, it was like night and day - at school anyway. He did quite well up until about the middle of fifth grade.
That was when his brother was born prematurely and our attention was focused on the baby (another long story, but he's fine now). So in the midst of that, with him starting into puberty, the Dr. prescribed an anti-depressant. I let that go on for about a week and said "no more." He was lethargic. So she adjusted the prescription for ADHD.
When she tried to change it again, I put my foot down and said "that's it." What helped him through elementary school was no longer working and I'm not willing to try everything out there to get the "right mix."
He's still incredibly disorganized and incredibly ADHD. (We watch him do his math homework, check to see that it's complete, watch him put it in his binder and into his book bag -- but it still doesn't make it to class...) But since he's 13 now, he's learning there are consequences to all of that. And the consequences are things that matter to him now. And quite frankly, other than the disorganization stuff, he's a normal, well adjusted 13-year-old (which means he still drives us crazy).
Maybe we'd do it differently now. But I don't think so. I'm not ready to say that ADHD doesn't exist.
Unfortunately, kids that really do need help get lumped in with the kids who just need a swift kick in the butt.
Ultimately, it's up to the parents to know what the heck is going on and to determine what is best for their child.
Wow. Your son sounds just like me, except I was in school in the 70's before all of this medication stuff started. To this day I am unorganized and forgetful, but PDA's are really wonderful things. I am also considered one of the best at what I do in a very large company . The very things that make me unorganized and forgetful are what me highly creative AND logical (a rare combination, I'm told). Which brings me to an interesting story. Shortly after I turned 30, I started having "panic attacks". They were intense and they were real. My doctor heard my story and immediately prescribed antidepressants. No physical, no trip to a mental health professional, just "take this pill, it'll be all right". I took them for years, with the usual side effects. Well, a few years ago, my forgetfulness caused me to forget to renew my prescription: I went a couple of weeks without taking the meds. When I finally realized what was going on, I was amazed that there had been no panic attacks. I went back on the meds, but the bug had been put in my ear, so I created a plan to get off. I dramatically changed my diet, started working out like a 20 year old, and taught myself to turn all of my fears over to God. It worked! I've been off the meds for 2 years now, I've have several major upheavals in my life, and still no panic attacks I tell this story because it's another example of laziness on the part of "professionals" - I know I'm not the only one who's been misdiagnosed. It should be criminal when they do it to kids.
Been there, done that, with my 12 year old, though I do believe we have now found the "right mix" of medication for his behavioral issues. He has ADHD, OCD, and Asperger Syndrome, and our problems have more often been with busybodies who don't want him to be on any medicines. We wish it wasn't needed, but it has eliminated his potentially self-destructive behaviors (opening a car door while it was moving, climbing on building ledges, e.g.) while allowing the "boy" in him to still come out.
It really does help to have good teachers. In fifth grade his teacher allowed him to hang upside down in his chair while reading the newspaper, as long as he didn't disrupt the rest of the class and could show he was paying attention to what she was teaching (he was always able to answer any question she asked of him on the spot). We have learned that team sports are not a good fit for him, so we have gotten him into swimming and even fencing (his older brother's reaction: "You're giving him a sword?!")
While his behaviors are frequently exasperating and exhausting for us, my wife and I do enjoy discussing politics and other serious topics with him because his mind is so quick and he keeps us on our toes.