WHAT'S THE WORST CAR OF THE MILLENIUM

Car Talk dot com ^ | unknown date | Staff

[doug from upland]

CLICK HERE FOR ENTIRE ARTICLE AND ALL 10 OF THE DISHONORED PIECES OF JUNK

No. 10 - VW Bus

"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transportation."

"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught fire."

"The flower stickers were the only things that held the car together."

"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."

"It was a death trap on the highway-you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."

No. 9 - Renault Dauphine

"Truly unencumbered by the engineering process."

"At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen... which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."

"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."

"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."

"A side impact by a bicycle totaled my Dauphine after only one year."

No. 8 - Cadillac Cimarron

"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off-for a while."

"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!"

"A stupid marketing ploy. Nothing more than a Chevrolet Cavalier, which Roger Smith gussied up and called a Cadillac."

"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."

No. 7 - Dodge Aspen/Plymouth Volare

"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."

"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route to work so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn in front of oncoming traffic."

"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."

"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation."

"Owning a Volare was total ego death--the theme song, the vinyl Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."

Nol 6 - Renault Le Car

"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."

"Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy, moody, and would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything larger than a croissant."

"Our Le Car couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."

"I left it unlocked overnight, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."

[oyez]

My pleasure.

For one of the worst looking autos was the Morris Minor. It might be called a birth control vehicle. Nobody would have sex with the driver of one of those.

[morjon]

Yeah, I guess different strokes, there are folks that think the '58 chevy is better looking than the '57 out there, but I never understood it.

The late 40 and early 50s Hudsons, as I stated had there styling ripped off by Mercury, so some one besides myself must have appreciated them. I came across country in a '51 pace maker in '52...when it was not a "freeway" trip. That Hudson passed a lot of other makes out in the desert that just couldn't cut it. The Hudson was also the favorite of the stock car racers...it had a 308 cubic inch inline 6 that was a fireball and set records for it's time at Bonneville. It's biggest sin is that it wasn't one of the Big Three.

As for the Falcon, the 63 V8s were pretty quick for the time, and my buddy's dad had one...we beat the sh*t outta that thing...he drove it keeping time to that song "Pappa Owww Moow Moow" with the gas pedal, I'm surprised the crank never snapped. We did call it 'the Foul-Car' I'll give you that...but it took a beating and came back for more.

I have a 63 Ford Fairlane now with the 260V8...it is hard to believe that they didn't sell well when they came out, but...?

I'll say this: much is dependant on one's experience with a particular car...my worst was with a brand new 58 Chevy, but I've had a lot of luck with older Fords, and there are those you can't GIVE a Ford to...different strokes!

[TC Rider]

"HI! I'm socal_parrot and I owned a '74 Chevy Vega."

"Hi! I'm TC Rider and I owned a '72 Vega. In '74 the rear end fell out of it and I traded for a '74 Blazer (in time for the gas shortage)

I traded it for a '74 Vega with the 'head' problem. I literally coasted that one onto a Toyota lot where they gave me a hundred in trade. (in my mind an excellant deal)

Then in '76 I married Mrs. TC who owned a '74 Vega (head problem). We sold that one to a GI at Fort Carson for a hundred dollars in '78. He later complained he got screwed.

sigh

[AngryJawa]

Two words: Pontiac Fiero.

[1Old Pro]

Here's a crate I haven't seen mentioned yet, unless I missed someone mentioning it, too, would withstand the detest of time: the AMC Javelin.

Make that ALL AMC vehicles.
Also not mentioned: Dodge Dart and Dodge Duster, MGB's; the English used Smith electronics and they never worked in the rain and were underpowered, Most Chrylser's built in the 70's and 80's....that's if you could buy one as I believe all the blue haired 75 year old women bought them up.

As for current cars: Lincoln is building a better car but there is one major problem...they are bought by the worst drivers in the world.

Other crappy cars not mentioned: how about the "Capri". The reason why they never sold the NOVA in Mexico? Because it means NO GO in Spanish.

[knews_hound]

OK, I cant resist...

What are the 3 headlight positions on British cars?

Off, dim and flicker....

Go Lucas Electronics !

Cheers,

knews hound

[rockfish59]

Yep, and we're heading to the Bremerton Nostalgia Drags on the 24th to see lots more like it.

[rockfish59]

A GOOD Vega!

[Yardstick]

I agree, those Monzas are actually pretty sharp-looking cars. And call me nutty, but I think the little Mustang II's from the mid-70's look cool, too -- especially the top-of-the-line model with all the little scoops and flares and decals and stuff.

[BluesDuke]

Yeah, I guess different strokes, there are folks that think the '58 chevy is better looking than the '57 out there, but I never understood it.

I'm kind of one of those souls, actually: my father owned a smashing looking 1958 Biscayne sedan - we called it the Creamsicle because it was two-toned similarly to that old favourite ice cream pop...white below the lower body trim and orange-ish tan above it, with a white roof. I like the '57 Chevrolet, but for some weird reason I thought the 1956 looked a little more attractive.

The late 40 and early 50s Hudsons, as I stated had there styling ripped off by Mercury, so some one besides myself must have appreciated them.

You put it politely, to be kind about it. The 1949 Mercury differed from that earlier Hudson that turned my insides probably only by the actual size - I could swear the '49 Merc was a little bit larger than even that Hudson, and that Hudson was a damn tank. Tell you the truth, I thought the Hudsons of the late '30s and very early '40s were better cars. Come to think of it, I also liked the Hupmobile, from what I saw of them...

I came across country in a '51 pace maker in '52...when it was not a "freeway" trip. That Hudson passed a lot of other makes out in the desert that just couldn't cut it. The Hudson was also the favorite of the stock car racers...it had a 308 cubic inch inline 6 that was a fireball and set records for it's time at Bonneville. It's biggest sin is that it wasn't one of the Big Three.

You could almost say that was the biggest sin of all the independents, not just Hudson. I did learn something last night, though, when hunting down those images of the Nashes I posted earlier on this thread: Hudson in one way almost became one of the Big Guys. Following their merger to Nash-Kelvinator, George Mason, who ran Nash, had an idea about bringing in Studebaker-Packard and Kaiser-Frazer into a single corporate unit but keeping all three components as independent divisions, the better to shave certain production and development costs. The plan never saw beyond research and formulation stage because Studebaker-Packard preferred to remain independent. Kaiser-Frazer, of course, collapsed not long after that, though it took a little more than a decade for Studebaker (they folded the Packard division I think in the late 1950s) bugged out of carmaking in 1964.

Nash - by then American Motors - produced Hudsons until about 1957, though the later Hudsons really looked like nothing much more than what George Barris or Carroll Shelby might have had in mind for customising Nash cars. It was about this time that Nash discontinued calling itself Nash and restored Rambler as the marque's name, as opposed to a Nash model. On the other hand, it was intriguing to see the compact Rambler American model - since, except for the fenders (this one didn't have the famous low-skirts-all-around design of the 1949-54 Nash cars) it was identical to the Nash Rambler convertibles of the early 1950s (the one George Reeves, as Clark Kent, drove in The Adventures of Superman).

As for the Falcon, the 63 V8s were pretty quick for the time, and my buddy's dad had one...we beat the sh*t outta that thing...he drove it keeping time to that song "Pappa Owww Moow Moow" with the gas pedal, I'm surprised the crank never snapped. We did call it 'the Foul-Car' I'll give you that...but it took a beating and came back for more.

I'll let you slide on that one ;)...but I still think the 1964 Falcon was a far superior car. Style-wise, that Falcon was sure as hell more "Papa Oom-Mow-Mow"...

I have a 63 Ford Fairlane now with the 260V8...it is hard to believe that they didn't sell well when they came out, but...?

I'm surprised the '63-64 Fairlanes didn't do better than they did. They were probably the best compacts coming out of Detroit at the time, other than perhaps the Buick Skylark.

I'll say this: much is dependant on one's experience with a particular car...my worst was with a brand new 58 Chevy, but I've had a lot of luck with older Fords, and there are those you can't GIVE a Ford to...different strokes!

When my father went into the insurance business in 1960, he was hired by an outfit in Flushing, Queens which gave him use of a company car and he could turn it in for a newer one every fourteen months. As it happened, the company cars were Fords. Thanks to Dad's job, we had a 1960 Galaxie, a 1961 Galaxie, a 1962 Country Sedan, and a 1964 Galaxie 500 sedan.

I especially loved the 1964 car - a smooth maroon with the below-dash air conditioner. I needled my father about it because I'd loved the four-door hardtop model, but he was good about it. (On the other hand, he did bitch about the whitewall tires - he thought they were a pain in the ass to clean. They were...LOL...I don't miss whitewalls myself, even though my own Ford Crown Victoria - I had a 1987 coupe, bought it used and got a great life out of her - had them.) He took me on my first flight - to Richmond, Virginia, on a business trip (he ended up doing the job in two days and we bummed around Richmond for three together), and while there he rented a yellow '64 Galaxie hardtop. That was almost as much fun as flying the Eastern Airlines Electra turboprop we flew to and from Richmond. For a nine-year-old kid, that was plain fun.

I've owned two Ford-made cars in my life: the aforesaid Crown Victoria and, also bought used, a 1989 Lincoln Town Car - had 80,000 miles on it but was still in showroom condition when I bought it, beautiful almond body and almond vinyl top, and drove like a cruise liner. I took her across country three times and she still drove like a limousine. I traded her in for a 2000 Dodge Intrepid at the end of that model year, but only because at long last her original innards had begun to go and the replacement/maintenance would have cost more than I had paid for her. Of all the cars I have owned and traded up for, the Lincoln is the one I'll always miss the most.

[BluesDuke]

Most Chrylser's built in the 70's and 80's....that's if you could buy one as I believe all the blue haired 75 year old women bought them up.

Those 1970s Chryslers made the 1949 Mercury and the late '50s Chryslers look like compacts. And they weren't even half as good as the '50s Chryslers. Chrysler didn't start making decent cars again until the 1990s.

[BluesDuke]

For one of the worst looking autos was the Morris Minor. It might be called a birth control vehicle. Nobody would have sex with the driver of one of those.

In fairness, the Minor 1000 was so bloody small you couldn't have sex in one of those! ;)

[BluesDuke]

Super! ... your taste is cars coincides with your taste in Mixmasters.

If you recall the design of the 1950s Mixmasters (Models 10-12), their motor shell trim could have lent to two-tone colouring! (As it was, they offered Models 11 and 12 in white, turquoise, yellow, pink, and chrome.) And if you turned the speed dial of Model 12 up to fourth speed, and spotted the tail fin position on the dial (not to mention the cowled headlight style of the front motor cap), this Mixmaster's profile resembled the 1955-57 Thunderbird!

The Mixmaster from about 1936 forward did have a touch of automotive look in its designing (the grille vents on the front motor caps especially, but later the speed dial tail fins and motor shell trim), but as I learned researching to write that Website I did about the appliance, one of the designers upon whom Sunbeam R and D chief Ivar Jepson called was one Raymond Loewy - better known for automotive design, including the car that was voted the most outstanding auto design of the 20th Century: the Studebaker Starliner.

[Uncle George]

1957 GOLIATH, made in Germany. Two stroke motor, smoked like a locomotive and wore out before the dealer could sell them. Was the biggest joke for a car EVER MANUFACTURED.

[TJFLSTRAT]

Amazing that the Aspen/Volare were named "Motor Trend Car of the Year" in 1976. So much for the so-called experts.

[TJFLSTRAT]

I had a 1973 Pinto, it lasted 68,000 miles, and the engine went quits. Traded it in on a new 1981 Datsun 310. Another collasal mistake.

[Pablo64]

I remember an old joke about the Yugo that went something like: "Yugo - no matter what color you buy, it's still Red".

In defense of the Chevette, however, I must say that when I married my wife she owned a '78 Chevette that she had bought from her dad (his friends laughed when he bought it and said they should sell them by the six-pac since they were just disposable cars). The only real mechanical complaints I had about it was that the air filter was a special sealed unit that cost too much, and after about 175,000 miles or so, it seemed like we had to replace the timing belt every year and a half or so. Also had some trouble with the master cylinder, but heard that Chevy had some design problems and it wasn't only the Chevette. Yes, it was ugly, but we sure drove the heck out of it and I saw it driven around for several years after we sold it (just couldn't kill it).

[2Trievers]

"In fairness, the Minor 1000 was so bloody small you couldn't have sex in one of those!"

Do you have ANY idea how much it costs to replace the leather buckets in a C after an evening of ...er ... um ...? &;-)

[OC_Steve]

Hey watch it, I also drove that Chevette!!! It rocked!!!

Your younger brother, OC_Steve.

[OC_Steve]

I had a 1986 Cavalier Z24 (or "How to stuff a V6 in a shoebox). You had to take apart part most of the engine to get to the back plugs!!! Also the hood oxidized but they made lovely geometric patterns.