Kalashnikov wishes he'd invented a lawnmower

NZ Stuff ^ | 28 JULY 2002 | Unsigned

[sheik yerbouty]

Perhaps, but what a fine lawnmower it would be!

[BenLurkin]

Or anything as successful as his rifle, in a free economy where he could have kept even 1% of the profits.

[gcruse]

I would have preferred to invent something
which helps people and makes life easier for farmers.

It depends.  The farmers in Zimbabwe would
have made good use of his invention.

[Restorer]

which can fire 400 rounds per minute

Well, not really. It can maybe fire rounds at that rate, but nobody has ever been able to get that many rounds through it in a minute.

[Spruce]

I would definitely rather see swarthy-types storming my property with lawnmowers over assault rifles any day. My lawn looks horrible right now.

Seriously, if it wasn't his weapon it would be another. Perhaps Mr. K. can take a little comfort in knowing he is not the first or last genius to never see a penny from his invention.

[petuniasevan]

It would! Probably it'd improve on the Tim Allen version:

[Yardstick]

I would definitely rather see swarthy-types storming my property with lawnmowers over assault rifles any day. My lawn looks horrible right now.

LOL! too good!

[JRandomFreeper]

but what a fine lawnmower it would be!

I have to disagree. It would not be a "fine" lawnmower as in a rifle of refinement ;>), but the darn thing would be able to start and cut grass after being left out in the yard all winter, if the theoretical lawnmower was anything like his rifle.

/john

[onedoug]

"...400 rounds per minute...."

Not without it jamming.

But I'll never forget the distinctive crack of that thing firing across the paddies of Vietnam.

[CWRWinger]

"Our soldiers often didn't have proper weapons in those days."

The Mosin-Nagant, 7.62 x 54R, was okay as long as it didn't have problems. IMO, the rifle is inferior to the Mauser in most ways. If all things were equal on the Eastern Front with the only difference being Mauser-vs-Mosin, the Germans would have been having tea with the Japanese in Peking by 1943.

[Thumper1960]

Never had an AK or a SKS jam. Not too damned accurate beyond 100 yds., but a dependable popper, nonetheless.

[mlibertarianj]

As Samuel L. Jackson said in the movie Jackie Brown.

"THE AK-47! WHEN YOU HAVE TO KILL EVERY ---- IN THE ROOM, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTE!!!!"

[Ajnin]

Just as long as your in a room and not a field.

[Don Joe]

Damn good point!

[LibWhacker]

Theoretically, you could mow down your lawn with an AK-47.

[DeaconBenjamin]

But the neighbors might protest.

[Eala]

But the neighbors might protest.

Not for long.

[Caipirabob]

Ahhhhhh Mr. Kalashnikov, how I love my AK! It's the same satification I get from driving my old Z-28. Not so accurate, but what a rush to shoot! We have a lawn guy anyways, so forget about the lawnmower.

[dcwusmc]

I'm the lawn boy at my house so maybe his lawnmower would be up my alley!