Replies

An old guy came home in the middle of the day to find his young, blonde
wife standing in the middle of their flooded deluxe apartment wearing
only a G-string and high heels.

"What happened here?" he asked. "The entire apartment is flooded!"

His wife said, "I think the waterbed burst." Just then a naked guy
floated by.

"Who's that!" demanded the husband. "I dunno," his beautiful bride
responded.

"Would you believe a lifeguard?"

A man is sitting in a plane which is about to take-off , when another man
with a dog occupies the empty seats alongside. The dog sits in the middle
with a seat all to himself. The first man is looking quizzically at the dog
when the second man explains that they work for the airline.

The dog handler says to the first man Don't mind Rover he is a sniffer dog,
the best there is, I'll show you once we get airborne, and I set him to
work. Eventually, the plane takes off and when it levels out the handler
says to the first man Watch this.

He tells the dog "Rover, search". The dog jumps down, walks along the aisle
to the back of the plane and sits next to a woman for a few seconds, it
then
returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handlers arm. He says "Good
boy", and turns to the first man and says, That woman is in possession of
marijuana, so I'm making a note of this, and the seat number, for the
police
who will apprehend her on arrival. Fantastic! replies the first man.

Once again the man says to the dog "Rover search". This time he sent the
dog
down to the front of their plane. The dog sniffs about, sits down beside a
man for a few seconds, returns to its seat and places both paws on the
handlers arm He says "Good boy", and turns to the first man and says, That
man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of this, and the seat
number. That's marvellous, I never seen anything like it! says the first
man.

Once again he sends the dog to search the aisles. He goes up and down the
plane and after a while sits down next to someone, and then comes racing
back, jumps up onto the seat and this time craps all over the place. The
first man is surprised and disgusted by this, and asks What the bloody hell
is going on?

The handler replies "Oh crap, He's just found a bomb!!