It's important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping they did when they were younger. When men notice this they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became necessary for Carolyn to get a full-time job both for extra income and for health insurance benefits that we need. She was a trained teacher when we met some years ago and was fortunate to land a job .
It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from golf about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper.
I try not to yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are downstairs. When she was younger, she used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to Monday's meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or Tuesday's or Thursday's golf or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like vacuuming, or dusting at a leisurely pace.
She is starting to complain a little, occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.
In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished weeding the yard.
I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In fact, I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly prepared ice tea and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep. I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support her on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I how frustrating women can become as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort.
I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach for the average man.
However guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
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