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PHILADELPHIA, PA-(BS) After their preseason game was cancelled against Baltimore, Eagle owner Jeffrey Lurie flipped out on stadium groundskeepers. "How hard can it be to fill in a dirt hole?"
The issue was settled later that night as the ground crew ripped up the surface to discover that a decomposed corpse was the cause of the uneven ground. Initial speculation was that it might be missing Teamster leader Jimmy Hoffa, who had long been rumored to be buried in Giants stadium.
The excitement subsided when the D.N.A. analysis showed that it was just an old time Eagle fan, who'd pledged never to leave the Veteran's Stadium until Philadelphia won a sports championship.