Tom was on the side of the road and noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by another long black hearse about 50 feet back. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind that were 200 men walking single file.
Tom couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said "Sir, I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied "Well, that first hearse is for my wife." Tom asked, "What happened to her?"
The man replied "My dog attacked her and she died." Tom inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned and attacked her and she died."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Tom asks, "Sir, could I borrow that dog?"
He replied, "Get in line!"
Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something.
Q: How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
A: Wait 10 seconds.
If you love a Redhead, set her free.....if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours.
Q: What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A: The piranha. They only attack in schools.
Q: How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A: She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails.
Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal.
Q: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A: There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.
Q: How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl.
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