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To: ST.LOUIE1
Good afernoon, Louie!!

Things a True Southern Gentleman Knows;

The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
What general direction cattywumpus is.
That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.
When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
The difference between Yankee's and damn Yankee's.
How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.
Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!
A good dog is worth its weight in gold.
Real gravy don't come from the store.
The War of Northern Aggression was over state rights, not slavery.
When "by and by" is.
How to handle their "pot likker".
The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".
The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.
Never to go snipe hunting twice.
At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.
A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.
Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.
GOD BLESSED DIXIE !!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

152 posted on 07/09/2002 4:23:10 PM PDT by JustAmy
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To: JustAmy; A Navy Vet; Militiaman7; WillaJohns; CounterCounterCulture; Slip18
*Optomist's Hunting Dog*

Friends -- one an optimist and the other a pessimist -- could never quite agree on any topic of discussion.

One day the optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his friend out of his continually pessimistic way of thinking. The optimist owned a huntin' dog that could walk on water.

His plan? Take the pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat.

They got out into the middle of the lake, and the optimist shot down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat.

The optimist looked at his pessimistic friend and said, "What do you think about that?"

The pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?"

154 posted on 07/09/2002 4:25:46 PM PDT by whoever
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