[tomkow6]

Melvin was playing football very badly.
He tried to kick a goal and missed. Finally,
He threw himself down on the bench and said
in disgust, "Boy, I could just kick myself."
The coach looked the other way. "Don't
bother," he said, "you'd probably miss."

[Mr_Magoo]

Mary the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the town's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several local residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

However, she made a mistake when she recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon.

George, a dedicated Christian and man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away without saying a word.

Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.