"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd
like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from
New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of
35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the
aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines
are on fire.
"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will
observe that the port wing has fallen off.
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will
see a little yellow life raft with three people in it
waving at you.
"That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air
stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
Feeling more secure now
Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection. And that was the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that time, federal police authority has grown to a large number of multi-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc.
Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service." Can't you see them now, these highly trained men and women in their black outfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs:
"FATASS."
I feel safer already.