To be tax deductable it would have to go to a legal charity. I'm not saying you suggested such a thing, however, IMHO it is always a bad idea to give money to a charity with the intent that a family member benefit from your gift)))
Interesting. I happen to know of folks who have set up non-profit foundations for the very reason of protecting assets and providing income to heirs. Is this a bad idea, for you, ethically or legally? I was rather surprised to find out that such things existed...
A private foundation is not the same thing as a public charity. I know that the general public may view any tax exempt organization as a charity, but under IRS rules and state statutes, only certain exempt organizations qualify to be called as charities.