To Spank or Not to Spank

CNSNews.com ^ | July 02, 2002 | Sterling Rome

[stainlessbanner]

Gershoff recommends that parents who are considering spanking a deserving kid "think of something else to do - leave the room, count to 10, and come back again."

That's actually pretty convenient in a market or other public place. Leave the place, count to 10, and let somebody else kidnap your child. Great advice Gershoff!

[goodieD]

I was allowed to 'discover the consequences' of my actions. I 'discovered' very quickly that if I got out of line, my behind was very suddenly in pain. I let my children 'discover' the same thing.

[Orbiter]

Well, technically we don't. But the one we have takes the work of five.

[goodieD]

Perhaps part of the problem the Pastor has is the Pastor is a SHE......think

Woo hoo! High five for that comment, of which I see very few, even among "conservatives".

[94Revolution]

Orbiter you have one that takes up the same amount of five children? Okay I am hopelessly perplexed at your first comments then about your child.

[nothingnew]

Woo hoo! High five for that comment, of which I see very few, even among "conservatives".

Amazing, isn't it?...

I love and adore women, not the least my dear wife...But I truly believe there are areas, (certain jobs,professions) they should not be in.

I'm a curmudgeon, and having been through a couple of relationships... there are certain areas women should not be in.

JMHO, but this is where the femis have brought the rest of us, and I refuse to abide it.

FMCDH

[goodieD]

When our pastor wanted me to read a scripture last Sunday, he called my husband and asked him if it would be ok. My female friends went ballistic, my hubby and I thought it was quite appropriate. The pastor is old south and very old school. Dont' get me wrong, he treats me with the utmost respect, but he knows who's in charge in our home. He's one of the few people today who actually gets it right.

[nothingnew]

You have freepmail.

FMCDH

[WIladyconservative]

After reprimanding him, I insisted he apoligise to the store employee who had to clean-up his mess. He was mortified (not always a bad thing). It took him almost a full 2 minutes to utter a quiet, scared, "I'm sorry.". The entire time the store employee (a mid-40yo woman) patiently stood and looked at him. He learned his lesson and has never come close to the offending behavior.

AWESOME MOM! Good for you! Mortification is a great discipline/teaching tool. I've done the same thing to my child and don't regret it, either. You were right on the money.

[PLK]

Once spanking is established as an option, delineation regarding appropriateness and severity blur. Spanking and beating become synonymous.

That is absolutely untrue. Perhaps it was for your male parent & grandparent, but it stems from other emotional problems, such as immaturity, inappropriate expression of anger, etc.

And regarding your assertion that your son is a good kid BECAUSE he was not spanked, well the testimonial simply carries no water. All children are different, some require a swat on the behind to get their attention, others do not. Our oldest daughter was one to flop her big hairy toe over the line every time we drew one. She needed spankings and she got them. Our second daughter rarely challenged our authority, and when she did, a simple time out or scolding was enough to correct her behavior. BOTH of these girls are accomplished, honor roll students, and well-adjusted in every way. All kids are different, you lucked out. I think what you need is one of those "wild kids" (sometimes referred to as "willful") to change your tune.

[nothingnew]

...My female friends went ballistic, my hubby and I thought it was quite appropriate.

I believe you and your husband and your Pastor are correct, and think your female friends would be ballistic about asking for "advice/permission" for anything.......JMHO

FMCDH

[tutstar]

bump

[PLK]

They sell wooden spoons at the grocery store don't they? I would have found that aisle and picked up one of those real quick.

Ah, the wooden spoon! At our house, these are magical. After being used ONLY ONCE, they magically bring about good behavior by simply grabbing it out of the utensil crock on the counter and waving it around. Truly a wonder!!

[frodolives]

Hooray for orbiter! (You sure you don't mean obiter, as in obiter dictum?)

Hitting a child teaches hitting, period. Hitting may be appropriate to avoid a life threatening injury (Get out of the street!) but no life was threatened with the flying Ragu. My folks used your discipline method, as do I, and I've never raised a hand to my eight year old. I certainly raise my voice, but most effective is a frown, a sigh, and "I'm SO dissapointed in your behavior!"

This Mom's difficulty here was her waspish, wimpy, please lower your voice, as if it was a favor to be asked! This kid is crying out for firm guidance. He does not need to be raised by his Very Best Buddy. Parenting makes you automatically the "bad guy" and if your kids don't tell you at least twice that you are the Worst Parent In The World, you aren't doing your job!

[mrfixit514]

a fellow pastor yesterdy during a funeral. She is new in town. She was telling me

I think I spotted the problem.

[nothingnew]

After being used ONLY ONCE,

Heh heh heh....I'm trying to remember the line from Johnny Dangerously..."My sister hit me once...just ONCE!"

Is that right?....somebody help me here.

FMCDH

[fabriclady]

I raised 2 sons by myself. They are now in their early forty's. They never had a spanking. Today, both are fine men with children. They don't spank their children. To date, there have been no problems.
We hugged a lot and never left one another without saying I Love You.

I know this is a choice, but, how can an overpowering grownup seize control by hurting a small person. This actually brings me to tears.

I believe most of the people in prison today were beat in their childhood.

[Slyfox]

Just last week, the American Psychological Association's Elizabeth Gershoff reported the findings of her study, which indicates parents should never spank their children, as it could lead to anti-social or belligerent behavior later in life.

The operartive word here is COULD. This women has never had any children, but has read a lot of books. When my first child turned one, my pediatrician told me that it was now time to set my daughter's limits. I needed to tell her no and I needed to reinforce that no at all times and spank if necessary.

My kids always know where they stand with me. I haven't had to spank them much. Seemed as though I could threaten a spanking as easily as to have given one. But, they learned that there are always consequences to bad behavior, and they didn't want to be on the brunt end of that deal.

There is nothing more sad than to see a kid who does not know what his boundaries are. Almost as sad is to see a parent who has had their rightful parenting stolen from them from the "hands are for loving" crowd.

[nothingnew]

See Reply #23......heh heh heh....THE Problem.

FMCDH

[Bon mots]

I didn't read the story, just the headline, but YES, Hillary should definitely be spanked. Frequently and Very hard.