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William Shakespeare wrote that "The Devil can quote scripture for his puposes." I hardly know where to begin because you have written so much. At first blush I suspect I could match you two contradicting quotes for each you have posited, and show yours to be out of meaningful context.

But let me just see if I understand you.

May I infer from your post that you think christians as a group should:

Offend more people.
Break the law more.
Hate more people.
Be more rude to people.
Judge people more.
Condemn people more.

in order to be closer to God? In essence, that we should all strive to be more like the guy eulogizing at the funeral?

I guess under certain circumstances I could agree with a couple of the above, but all in all you suggestions seem contrary to my understanding of the teachings of Christ.

BTW: I thought He said to Satan "Get thee behind me Satan."

At any rate, you said:

God uses different methods to communicate the Gospel to people at different depths of depravity. At times, a Christian can pray with an unbeliever. At other times, a believer might ridicule the unrepentant in hopes of waking him up.

Well, there you go. Maybe the approach that is apprporiate at a funeral where family members are mourning the loss of a loved one would be the kinder, gentler, more compassionate one. Maybe you could leave out the part about the fire burning and the Devil poking your fornicating drunk dead daddy with his pitchfork.

Maybe you could just say something about learning from his life and his death and from his strengths and his weaknesses, then pray for the soul of the deceased and the well-being of the living. The death of someone close to us gives us occasion to reflect upon the transience of life, and it would seem a good time to point out that we might all ask ourselves what we would do with our lives and that an end will come and things matter.

I mean, at any given moment there are seemingly an infinite number of sentences a christian might form, you always choose some words over others. I think it reasonable to expect that when someone accepts an invitation to deliver a eulogy, they will say something that is both kind and helpful.