[antidisestablishment]

It would be a calming, well-ordered sort of place, with rooms full of good things like home cooking, churchgoing and plain-speaking. A dank basement, with a door marked ‘To Be Nuked’ would contain many writhing evil things in turbans. An iron maiden would be set aside especially for Bill and Hillary Clinton.

ROTFLOL!

[FairWitness]

An iron maiden would be set aside especially for Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Iron Maiden (definition)
Female effigies constructed of wood or iron with the inside hollowed out and filled with sharp iron spikes. The iron maiden would be opened up and the offender placed inside. The person would then be embraced by the iron maiden, being impaled by all the stakes.

Ouch!

[Anamensis]

A dank basement, with a door marked ‘To Be Nuked’ would contain many writhing evil things in turbans.

Hmmm... she says that like it's a bad thing...