[Sloth]

here in Gotham

Well, there's your problem. My old 1-bedroom apartment cost $320 a month, furnished, with water included.

[NativeNewYorker]

Well, New York is my home.

Slightly slummy 1-br non-doorman walkups on so-so blocks are $1700/month.

Doorman (necessary for security) 1-br in decent building on good block: $2400++.