Ugly to the core, the both of 'em.
Posted on 06/08/2002 1:51:00 PM PDT by friendly
Edited on 05/26/2004 5:06:46 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
I know a nomber of paralegals. Some attorneys treat their employees reasonably well.
However as employers, there are many lawyers who are the most exploitative, arrogant, cheating, sexist, abusive slime buckets in $3000 suits that ever crawled out of the sewer. They treat these employees in a vile, inhuman manner that demonstrates the same fundamental disrespect thet feel for the rest of us peons.
They are in other words, liberal democrats.
megadittos
The ugly side of the law.
I wish lawyers would be put under the same rules they have the rest of us following.
They find themselves at the Pearly Gates, filling out some forms with St. Peter.
The young man looks up and asks St. Peter whether he and his fiancee could get married in heaven.
St. Peter excuses himself, and explains that he will go find out the answer to the young man's question.
He's gone for three and a half months.
He returns and announces that he's got good news, and that indeed, the couple can get married in heaven.
The young man speaks again, telling St. Peter that while he was away, the two of them had an opportunity to discuss the whole marriage thing, and they had one more question.
If they did get married, and things didn't work out, could they get a divorce in heaven?
Frustrated, St. Peter snaps back:
"It just took me three and a half months to find a priest up here, now you want me to go locate a lawyer?!?!?!?!
ETHICS!?!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA >
Carolyn
Now why would our un-elected rulers ever submit to that?
When Lawyers Go Bad?
When they exit the womb?
Actually predates the womb:
Question: How is a lawyer like a sperm?
Answer: The chances are about one in 10 million it might ever become a human being.
Makes you kind of wish that lawyers had expiration dates stamped on their beady foreheads, so you would know when to get rid of them before they stink up the house.
Maybe the FDA could regulate lawyers. God know nobody else regulates attorneys.
Each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree, to see if he could see a rescue boat coming.
One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "Wow! I can't believe my eyes! I don't believe this is true!" The lawyer on the ground was skeptical and said, "I think you're hallucinating and you should come down right now."
So, the lawyer reluctantly climbed down the tree and told his friend that he had just seen a naked blonde woman floating face up headed toward their island.
The other lawyer started to laugh, thinking his friend had surely lost his mind. But, within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a naked blonde woman, face up, totally unconscious.
The two lawyers went over to her and one said to the other, "You know, we've been on this island for months now without a woman. It's been a long time...do you think we should....you know..... screw her?"
The other lawyer glanced down at the totally naked woman and asked... "Out of what?"
"The rat, eh?" says the old, gray-haired cashier.
"Um, yeah... how much?" replies the customer.
"Well, five bucks for the rat--but 200 dollars for the story that goes with the rat," the cashier replied.
"I'll just take the rat, without the story," the customer says.
He leaves the store, his precious brass rat tucked under his arm. Soon he begins to notice that a few rats are following him. He walks a few more blocks and the number of rats behind him increased. This continued, until there were virtually millions of rats behind him. Afraid of the rats following him, the man ran to the sea and threw the brass rat in. All of the rats plunged in after it, and met their watery deaths.
The man ran back to the antique store. The old cashier was chuckling to himself. "So now you want to pay for the story?"
"Nah," said the customer, "I was hoping you might have a brass lawyer for sale though?"
Answer: The chances are about one in 10 million it might ever become a human being.
Those odds, though not encouraging leave hope we may have one (lawyer who is human) here in the U.S. within my lifetime. lol
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. 'Uh, how do you start a flood?' he asked.
You would be the one to know, XxtraSalacious....
"If any citizen of the United States shall accept, claim, receive, or retain any title of nobility or honour, or shall without the consent of Congress, accept and retain any present, pension, office, or emolument of any kind whatever, from any emperor, king, prince, or foreign power, such person shall cease to be a citizen of the United States, and shall be incapable of holding any office of trust or profit under them, or either of them."I submit the members of the British Accreditation Registry need to be purged from both federal and states legislatures.
Because the scientists don't get nearly so attached to the lawyers....
and they're are some things even a rat won't do. :)
This is certainly untrue in my state. We live in fear of the state bar. Even frivolous complaints are kept on file for the public to see. DemoRATS run the state bar, and harass solo and small firm practicioners -- they want to keep their big-firm monopoly on legal services. Accused attorneys have no due process rights whatsoever before the bar investigatory board. It's really quite shameless that lawyers are not afforded the same due process rights that the ACLU 'RAT types want for accused terrorists.....
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