As much as I recognize this world to be competitive, I have never seen things in quite such a zero-sum-game sense as you seem to. My goal, whether in school, sport or business, has always been to do my very best, and to meet the highest standards possible. When one does that, the winning takes care of itself, as does sportsmanship and the respect of others.
My wife often has trouble communicating with me. She uses vague language when making requests. "Get me that thing" she says. I ask "what thing"? "You know, the thing over there." "Do you want the remote control?" "Yea, thats what I want." "Well why didnt you just say 'get me the remote'"?
It is a habit i have been unable to break her of. So I tell her, tell me exactly what you want, mean what you say and say what you mean.