Posted on 06/03/2002 9:38:46 PM PDT by codebreaker
What has happened to music critics did Ozzy bite one of the ducks heads off in the pond..now that would have made headlines!!
Tuesday June 4, 2002
The Guardian
Brian May compared it to Live Aid, which was only true in the sense that several veterans of the 1985 concert also made their presences loudly known at the Party at the Palace.
Seventeen years older - though nobody had told their hairstyles, which looked precisely as they did in the 1980s - but still up for some avuncular butt shaking, May, Phil Collins and Paul McCartney headed a cast chosen from pop's soft centre.
All that kept the gig from being a dress rehearsal for the next Royal Variety Performance was the newly fashionable Ozzy Osbourne flashing his fangs during a rumbling, carnivorous Paranoid, which was to Cliff Richard's Living Doll what a Sherman tank is to a tricycle.
During All You Need is Love, the pair were arm in arm.
While Ozzy frothed, the royals wore the stoic look they reserve for pop concerts but his was the best and most ludicrous moment by miles. What was this representative of the dark side doing here? Nobody seemed to know, including Ozzy who mumbled: "God Save The Queen" as he exited - but talk about a hard act to follow.
Needless to say, nobody tried. The rest of the acts combined weren't weird enough to scare the occupants of the royal box, let alone the horses.
The one artist who might have frightened both - the overbearingly Anglophile Madonna - wasn't present.
Although Tom Jones also makes an unsexy eroticism the centrepiece of his act, he has been so thoroughly kitschified it's unlikely anyone blushed at Sex Bomb.
Still, plenty of women, young and old, squealed - surely ironically - at his wearily jerking pelvis.
But what's the point of complaining that artists who accept an invitation to play Buckingham Palace are not cutting edge? Of course they wouldn't be. You would have been forgiven, however, for deciding that the teen-pop contingent headed by the soulless Will Young, who was woefully of out his depth on Heard It Through the Grapevine, were even more dispiriting than expected.
They were supposed to be the evening's bright young things, but allowing Emma Bunton and Atomic Kitten to defile Good Vibrations - while it's author Brian Wilson watched in apparent bewilderment - amounted to cruelty.
Apart from them and the only concession to dance music, south London girls Mis-Teeq, the line-up resembles a broadcast of the Brit Awards circa 1988. Veterans like Annie Lennox, a pre-recorded Elton John and Queen were surprisingly vigorous - the latter's Bohemian Rhapsody ended with a roof-raising singalong.
Funny, however that while pubescents and the parents were amply catered for, there was little for the 30-somethings.
Where was Dido when she was finally needed? One to ponder on a night that offered few other surprises.
I'd would have loved to have seen that. Also don't forget to get the Black Sabbath reunion double CD, recorded in 1999..........dynamite.
At least SOME of this concert is supposed to air on VH1 this weekend.
The one artist who might have frightened both - the overbearingly Anglophile Madonna
At one point in the show, Ozzy stopped the music in mid-song when he saw some young jerk right in front of the stage (surrounded by older fans, MANY with grey hair) "slam dancing" and literally knocking people over, including an old woman. Ozzy reamed him good, wanting to know why he couldn't just have a good time without being an asshole. Lot's of bleeping would be necessary to repeat it on the air. The crowd loved it.
The band then went back into the song, and when it reached an instrumental point where Ozzy had a break from singing, he went over to a big trough-shaped water bucket to dunk his face and cool off. After, he suddenly froze, then grinned. He had the look of a man who had just thought of something clever; only a light bulb suspended overhead would have shown this more. Oz then grabs the bucket and runs toward the front of the stage and heaves the water, catching the jerk full in the face.
The crowd went wild, then security escorted the soggy jerk out, which resulted in another big cheer. It was a fun and different night. If anyone else saw that show there that night I'd love to hear from you.
Natch. Brian Wilson watches EVERYTHING in apparent bewilderment.
I thought Ozzy was great though!
Helluva lot better than the bloke from the Beach Boys that they dug up for the occasion. *L*
My favorite quote was when Ozzy was afraid they would throw him in the Tower of London if he started his old antics again..
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