I don't mean to be diffident, but I for one would not be prepared to alter standards for attitudes and behavior. Perhaps I, and others like me, are 'uptight' in your view, but we are entitled to our views and standards. As another poster put it, these aren't 'white' standards, they are the standards of civility and the behavior conducive to learning and polite interaction among men and women of good will.
I would not object if someone who had a different view of standards chose to set up alternative instititions, but neither would I be willing to accept them as equal.
I have always believed that the way to avoid racism in myself was to apply to all people the standards I believe in, not to make excuses for members of any group or assume they cannot fully participate in any way in the life of the mind and the great conversation of western civilization. In reading your posts, I have always had the sense that you take a similar view.
What we're talking about specifically here is not a matter of "higher" or "lower" standards. It's more like what constitutes "acceptable" behavior. The two should not be confused- I am not for lowering standards but I don't believe that every social setting calls for all of us to express ourselves in the same way. Therefore, I stand on my previous point that some Blacks are unfairly labeled and penalized because of how they may act when the setting or the circumstances don't warrant the imposition of a narrow standard of conduct.