I find that this verse is misquoted most often when Christians are standing up for moral behavior. It is just a veiled(?) attempt to get us to shut up.
My mom got divorced when I was a small child. She remarried because she needed someone to support her two kids, which she wasn't able to do. The Stepfather physically assaulted all of us on a regular basis. I wish she'd stripped instead of marrying him...it would have been easier on all of us. Until you've walked a mile in the other guy's shoes, don't assume you know him.
I appreciate your position. I fall almost into the same boat. You wishing your mom had done something doesn’t make that thing right. In an ideal world your mom’s family would have been around and able to help out by taking you all in. Either that or whatever church you attended (if you attended one) would have been able to help take care of your family's needs.
A lot of families and churches are falling down in their responsibility to help care for the widows and the fatherless (which I would classify single mom households).
-Kevin