I'm reminded of an old country song (from the 1960s or 1970s) called Please Don't Go Topless Mother where a small boy is pleading for his mom to give up topless dancing.
I couldn't find an mp3 or a wav (or even a copy of the lyrics) but I did find an archived real player radio broadcast where it is 11 songs into the show. Playlist for Inner Ear Detour with David S - October 22, 2001