That's a fair question, and of course, you're right. You can't know. When my sons joined Boy Scouts, I went on many, many camping trips with my sons until I knew reasonably well all the fathers and scoutleaders who lead those trips. Though one can never be sure about anything, there was never any inappropriate activity or sexual innuendo, nor have there ever been any complaints by kids or parents in my sons' troop. Still, I am vigilant, because, unfortunately, a troop of teenage boys does attract homosexual molesters. I know of course that not all homosexual men are molesters. But many homosexual men have strong sexual attractions to teenage boys. The point here is not that you can make anything totally safe, but that if a man declares his preference for sexual activity with men, it is entirely inappropriate for him to be in close quarters with your teenage (i.e., sexually mature) sons.
The other thing I should have mentioned is that we don't try to keep our sons away from all homosexuals. I have a very good friend who is homosexual, and he is a friend of the family. That is far, far different, though, from having your sons being in close and intimate quarters on a faraway camping trip with a homosexual man - particularly a man in a position of authority over my kids. Such a situation is an invitation for abuse - just like what's been happening in the Catholic Church.
I got my threads mixed up in the past posts. Sorry. My original point was that the Catholic Church now seems to have an inordinate number of homosexual child molestors, and inordinate number of active homosexual priests, and an inordinate number of homosexual priests in general. Since I do not know who is who (and you're right - there's no way to know for sure), I have reached the conclusion that it's dangerous to have my sons alone around any priest - not only from the point of view of sexual molestation, but from the point of view of having confidence that my sons are being taught authentic Christian sexual morality. Yes, there are many wonderful priests, and many (presumably) good homosexual and chaste priests. But I will not risk my sons' welfare on just so-so odds. Major segments of the Catholic Church have been turned into gay brothels and far, far, far too many priests have become teenage boy rapists. I simply cannot presume my sons' well-being around any Catholic priest.
Bingo. Homosexuality os a state-of-mind, a behavior, and an inclination to behavior. It is not a separate and special species or gender of human being. That's why so-called "gay rights" are nonsensical and absurd. How can a state-of-mind have "rights" let alone exercise rights?
Hint: it can't.
However, if a parent is made aware of or suspects a particular man possesses the gay state-of-mind the parent can and certainly mark the man for close watching.
You ask them during confession, as follows:
Bless me Father _____, for I have sinned. I has been ___ since my last confession. Before we get started here, I want to make sure I understand something. According to Church teachings, you are bestowed with the holy gift of being able to forgive my sins in place of Jesus. Before I can know if I will actually be forgiven, it is important for me to know if you are an actual priest in good standing with our Lord and Savior (I wouldn't want to walk out of here thinking my sins were forgiven, only to find out that in the Lord's eyes you didn't have the gift, so to speak). please answer yes or no to the following:
Are you a homosexual?
Have you ever engaged in homosexual acts, such as anal intercourse?
Do you think it is OK for priests to be homosexual?
Do you believe that acts involved with and practiced by homosexuals are not sins?
If he answers "YES" to any one of them, he can't be trusted.
It's a shame that it has come to this. A full, 100% clearing of all homosexuals and pedophiles from the clergy will be costly in manpower, but God will take care of that if they are earnest about "hating the sin and loving the sinner."