Condi Rice Invited Bill Clinton to Head East Timor Delegation

ABC News Morning Political Insider Tip Sheet 'The Note' ^ | May 9, 2002 | Elizabeth Winter and Mark Halperin

[Wright is right!]

First prize, a trip to E. Timor.

Second prize, TEN trips to E. Timor.

Sending Billy-Bubba to E. Timor is like setting him up with Lorena Bobbitt. The good news is that it's a date. The bad news is...

There was some discussion about having Survivor IV set in E. Timor, but after discovering that NO ONE can survive there, the show was moved to The Marquesas.

Michael

[MJY1288]

When this story was first posted there was outrage here on FR, I thought it was hilarious from day one. As I said then, I hope President offers him a speaking engagement with whatever is left of the Branch Dividians next, and after that a speech on child care to a stadium full of S. Florida Cubans :-)

[codebreaker]

LOL! Condi may be a little more igenious than we give her credit for..

[codebreaker]

Sounds like a long trip in a really small plane, to a shark infested island.

No wonder Trent Lott wants him to stay there!

[lavrenti]

Maybe he can be the halftime show at the next Belgrade Dynamo match.

[mikrofon]

Say, don't they have Headhunters on East Timor?? Hmmm... ;^)

[MJY1288]

What I find so hilarious is by Condi offering him this trip and "Leaking" the offer before hand. It put X42 in a corner. He had to accept or give the appearance of being petty and small to the press.

I can see the headlines now "Former impeached President Clinton declined an offer to represent the United States in a very important diplomatic mission to the recently liberated Nation of East Timor. The Bush Administration considers the survival of this tiny nation as critical to our National security and has expressed it's disappointment that the former President declined this important mission"

[Wright is right!]

"When this story was first posted there was outrage here on FR, I thought it was hilarious from day one."

Yup, there WAS outrage - and I couldn't believe it myself. Here Bush was, administering the most elegant slam imagineable, and people were upset about it. And this at a time when Billy-boy wanted to go visit his constituents in N. Korea and the Muddle East. "I'm here! I'm available! Send ME! Send ME! Me! ME! I'm right HERE! PLEASE call on me!"

So Dubya says, "Uh, over there in the corner, the man with the bent...uh, yes, you. Would you stand up, please? Thanks. Now, since you volunteered for the Middle East, we're going to send you, all expenses spared, to the middle of EAST (X-42's panting with excitement)TIMOR! Unfortunately, the airfield in E. Timor can't handle Air Force One, so you'll be treated to business-class seating on Kudakorari's UltraLight Passenger Drop-Off Service. You'll be staying in a grass hut in a village full of cannibals. No, Mr. ex-president, not full of CANNABIS - CANNIBALS. There is a difference."

Sending him to Bumfrig, E. Timor is a fate worse than diplomatic death, believe me. It's akin to saying, "See just how MUCH you mean to America, Billy-boy?"

Michael

[MJY1288]

"so you'll be treated to business-class seating on Kudakorari's UltraLight Passenger Drop-Off Service"

ROFLMAO, and he will travel around this Fire Ant infested island on a donkey

[Jakarta ex-pat]

And afterwards a relaxing week in Bali.

Oh the inconvenience!

[Wright is right!]

"What I find so hilarious is by Condi offering him this trip and "Leaking" the offer before hand. It put X42 in a corner. He had to accept or give the appearance of being petty and small to the press."

Yup. It's the ULTIMATE PRACTICAL JOKE. You force someone to do something utterly degrading by giving them an even LESS-appealing option. I can just imagine the peals and guffaws of laughter in the room when the idea of sending X-42(i) to the middle of NO-FRIGGIN'WHERE came up. And then he ACCEPTED IT. Nope, it doesn't get any richer than that.

I can just imagine what Hillary! said to him. "You did WHAT?!?!? You accepted WHAT?!?!? Are you INSANE?!?! EAST Tee-freakin'-MOR?!?!? What a SCHMUCK!!!!"

Michael

[ClearCase_guy]

Sending him to Bumfrig, E. Timor is a fate worse than diplomatic death, believe me. It's akin to saying, "See just how MUCH you mean to America, Billy-boy?"

Absolutely. Also, if he continues to mouth off about other parts of the world (what we should do in the Middle East), it's very easy to say, "Uh, Bill, your responsibility is East Timor. How's that going? Oh, it's still screwed up? Well, why don't you get back to work on that, and let us worry about the Middle East. "

[codebreaker]

LOL! Cannabis-Cannibals...

[codebreaker]

Does Hillary have to go too?

[codebreaker]

This is beginning to sound better and better.

[Wright is right!]

"ROFLMAO, and he will travel around this Fire Ant infested island on a donkey."

The problemo the press has with this story is that SOMEONE is going to have to go to E. Timor to cover it. Can you see the scrambling in the major newsrooms as people try to get out of covering this trip? Just watch. Wait. See who ABC, See-BS, NBC, CNN and MsNBC send to E. Timor to cover it. What reporter wants his face on TV from there when all the other guys and gals get the GOOD stories?

And they wailed and moaned about having to cover Crawford, TX! Crawford's going to look DAMN good compared to E. Timor.

Come to think of it, the nets probably won't send ANYBODY. Instead, they'll probably BUY a feed from some indy news outfit or Malay TV and run with that...having someone in NY do a wraparound on it.

Michael

[marty60]

I think it's perfect for The Thing to go. He sat by while his buddie Riady and the boys massacred E Timorese. Yes, send him. Rub the independance in his ugly ,bulbous nose face. G I still hate him. I need to move on.

[MJY1288]

I'm tellin ya, when I first heard this news I laughed for a half hour, When I looked at some of the posts on the original breaking story posted here on FR, I couldn't believe nobody was finding the humor in this. I would of given up a years earning to be among those who thought this up. They had to be laughing so hard that they had to hit the whrilpool to relieve the stomach mussle pain

[r9etb]

LOL! Condi may be a little more igenious than we give her credit for..

Put me in for "a lot" more.

Note: one reason Clinton would be theoretically useful on a trip like this is his close, personal, (campaign financial) relationship with the Indonesian government and the Riadis. As such, he would theoretically have an "in" with that side of the negotiations.

OTOH, Clinton out of office is completely useless to the Indonesians. Out of office, he's nothing more than a fat, sweaty girl-chaser. And so his "influence" is probably nil.

Thus Clinton's "peacekeeping" chance probably turns out to be a flop, and the behind-the-scenes assessment will undoubtedly account for the campaign money/political influence factor. And thus Clinton is yanked from the "official" world stage.

Nice move, Condi.