[BikerNYC]

Our loss.

Not at all. For those of us who want to wait for the one person who will fulfill them, there is that choice and, presumably, they will be happy and content in that search. Yet, as we know, many times people's choices in this area are later determined by them to have been mistaken and things don't work out. They were happy for awhile looking and waiting and then finding, but, for whatever reason, the choice did not work out and unhappiness followed. They never had the chance to "sow their wild oats" and now they regret it.

For others, the fun is in the hunt, and they cannot see themselves with one person for the rest of their lives. Often, however, future developments change their minds on things and, sometimes, it is difficult to turn back. Not so much because their are no potential mates out there, but because as people get older, they get more comfortable with their habbits and routines and are unwilling to change them for another.

Yet others find happiness throughout their lives with whatever path they choose.

What would be worse, I think, is to mandate a particular path that everyone should follow, without regard to the particular nuances of personality of individuals. Waiting, searching, and finding the one right person becomes a lot less valuable, even for those who are so inclined, if everyone has to do it.

[Jim Scott]

Waiting, searching, and finding the one right person becomes a lot less valuable, even for those who are so inclined, if everyone has to do it.

No one has to do any such thing. The generally accepted morality that we've abandoned is a loss to society as a whole, especially to the out-of-wedlock children these casual relationships produce which is almost as bad as the soul-deadening fact of a million-plus abortions performed in American every year, most on white, middle-class women who are not married.

Serial sexual 'relationships' between unmarried young adults are ultimately depressing and the fact that this is now considered 'normal' does nothing for the men and women involved who end up wondering why (eventual) marriage is no big deal and often divorce in a few years as the marriage was just a nother 'relationship' and held little meaning after all the sexual affairs that came before it. It's sad and although there are always exceptions, this tends to be quite common in today's 'anything goes' society where sex between unmarried young adults is taken for granted, if not expected.

Forty-plus years ago young adult men and women still had casual relationships, sometimes many before marriage, but sex was not automatic or expected, although of course some did engage in it. There was no perceived need to 'try it out' much less play house and pretend it was a committed relationship - except that either one could flee at the first sign of a problem, boredom or a better sexual partner.

We've lost something important as a society in the name of, what else? Freedom. Well, we're free alright. Free to be promiscuous and call it a 'relationship'. Free to have a million abortions a year. Free to contract STD's by the millions and many women are free to face thirty-five unmarried and feeling used with all illusions shattered and possibly a fatherless child in tow.

No, no one is forced to remain chaste before marriage (and it was never a law in America that anyone had to) but with the permissiveness and frat-boy mentality we've adopted when it comes to sex between unmarrieds and the meaning of 'relationships' being one of sex and convenience and little more, we've lost a lot, even if it was voluntary.