Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of Japanese sport sedans
AMG Hummer: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Catera: I learned nothing from the Cimarron
Cadillac Eldorado: I am a pimp
Cadillac Deville: I am a very good Mary Kay Salesperson
Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Caprice: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Chevrolet Cavalier coupe: I start 11th grade in the fall
Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'vette.
Chevrolet Corvette: I am having a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chevrolet Tracker: I start 12th grade in the fall
Chrysler Cordoba: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a Mercedes Benz product.
Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Aspen: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Neon: I cannot stand the Macarena
Dodge Power Wagon: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Ford Explorer: I will not be caught dead in a minivan
Ford Mustang 5.0: I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Mustang 2.3: I avoid Yugos and VW microbuses at the stoplights
Ford Ranchero: I am leading a Militia to overthrow the government
Ford Tempo: I teach fourth grade special education and I voted for Adlai Stevenson
Honda Civic: I just graduated and have no credit at all
Honda Accord: I lack originality and am basically a lemming
Hyundai Accent: I delivered pizza for years in order to get this car
Hyundai Tiburon: I miss the tasteful, conservative and understated styling of the 1974 AMC Matador
Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu I-Mark: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than the Daihatsu
Jaguar XJS V-12: I am so rich I will pay $60,000.00 for a car that is in the shop 280 days of the year
Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu of America
Lexus LS400: I am the lawyer suing the owner of the Infiniti Q45
Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered supper dishes
Mercury Grand Marquis: I live for bridge and covered supper dishes
Mercedes 600SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 600SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB: I am dating a mechanic
Nissan Altima: I don't know what it means, either
Nissan Maxima: I am still in the closet
Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser: I get carsick driving minivans
Oldsmobile Delta 88 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon: I enjoy the Macarena
Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 928: I am dating big-haired women who would otherwise be inaccessable to me
Range Rover: I do not care about J.D. Powers or his surveys
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Maggie Thatcher is a touch too Whig for me
Rover 3500: I am married to a mechanic
Saturn SL1: I hope someday to make it to a gathering in Spring Hill
Saturn SL2: I made it to a gathering in Spring Hill
Toyota Camry: I have always wanted to own the Oldsmobile of Japanese family sedans
Volkswagen Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Jetta: I enjoy putting out engine fires
Volkswagen Microbus: I am tripping right now
Volkswagen New Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volvo 740 Wagon: I am afraid of my wife
My daughter's name is Marissa. I wish I owned the one I used to drive. If I ever have that kind of money, I'll go to the factory and tell them "I want it in matte olive drab, plain interior and a soft top." That way, I won't give a rat's ass when I scratch it going through the trees, and when it's covered with mud, I just get a firehose and clean it off - inside and out.
My two favorite sites on the web are FreeRepublic and CrownVic.net. Sometimes, when they cross over, I get the best of both worlds. :)
No, that is the 280ZX, plain 'Z' drivers like simple fun cars. (You could probably find a roach under the seats.) ;-)