Posted on 04/15/2002 5:17:53 AM PDT by The American
My friends and I talked about idols last week. We rattled off names -- Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ronald Reagan and General John Jumper -- until a couple of guys confessed they look up to no one. Living life without an idol? No wonder society is deteriorating. So, as a public service, I propose a hero we can all strive to emulate: Hulk Hogan.
Before you scoff at my suggestion, hear me out. Everybody needs an idol. Success requires motivation, and idolizing somebody provides that inspiration. By pursuing the best qualities of a role model, you will be more focused and successful in whatever you do. This only works, however, if your idol is admirable. Revering Kato Kaelin would be disastrous.
Society has degenerated to the point where O.J.'s dimwitted houseguest doesn't seem that bizarre. To reverse this trend, we must pattern ourselves after the cream of the crop, carefully selecting the best representative of what we want to become. It is my honor to nominate Hulk Hogan to be this individual.
The Hulkster is the epitome of a role model. He took our generation under his wing, pushing us to maximize our potential. Using his fame and charisma, he made a lasting, positive impact on millions.
At the heart of Hogan's teachings are his Demandments: "train, say your prayers, and eat your vitamins." Eight words to live by.
My hometown friends and I follow these eight words religiously, doing everything we can to be like the Hulkster. Were it not for the Demandments, we may have been inactive, irreligious, vitamin-deficient punks. Since we heeded his words, we developed into valuable members of society.
Hogan's life lessons do not stop there, no sir. He instilled a sense of self-confidence in his young fans, showing us that we could do the impossible. Did the Hulkster run and hide from Andre the Giant? Of course not.
Drawing strength from his Hulkamaniacs, our hero bodyslammed the 7'4" 500-pound behemoth. He believed in himself, confronted his fears and walked away victorious. Youngsters learned the power of a good attitude and hard work. Suddenly those multiplication tables didn't look so difficult.
Hogan also taught his fans to respect women. A true gentleman, he aided Miss Elizabeth after she was injured during a match. This enraged the jealous Macho Man, leading to a grudge match at Wrestlemania. Hulk won the match and helped Miss Elizabeth end her rocky relationship with the Macho Man. On top of that, Hogan's own relationship has withstood the test of time: his marriage is still going strong after 19 years. If only we were all that devoted.
Along with chivalry lessons for grade-schoolers, Hogan spreads a patriotic message to Hulkamaniacs whenever he could. He fought out of the feared Camel Clutch to defeat the Iron Sheik in the early 80s. The Soviets were the next to challenge our hero, and Hogan swiftly showed the pesky Bolsheviks, Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov, the door.
Perhaps the best example of Hogan's devotion to America occurred in 1991. While our troops attacked the Iraqis, Sergeant Slaughter defected to the enemy. Flanked by General Adnan and Colonel Mustafa, the traitorous Slaughter won the WWF belt. It was up to Hogan to win back the belt for America.
Utilizing the "big boot" and his patented leg drop (and his 24-inch pythons), Hogan beat Slaughter and raised the American flag with pride. Hogan then showed Slaughter the error in his ways, eventually bringing him back to his senses. Americans everywhere rejoiced, and society was on the upswing.
Hogan's story, however, is not all rosy. The media tore him apart for using steroids, though they were legal at the time. His forays into Hollywood -- which started promisingly with Rocky III -- took a turn for the worse with Mr. Nanny and Suburban Commando. And joining the evil wrestling faction known as the New World Order nearly destroyed his credibility.
But Hogan rebounded from his problems, proving that you can't keep a good man down. Now, at the age of 49, he again ranks in the wrestling elite. Hulk has the opportunity to regain his title next Sunday when he battles the current champ, HHH. When Hogan "hulks up" and channels the energy from his screaming fans, he is sure to win back the WWF championship belt.
It's time to update an old proverb. Sure, kindergarten was useful, but the maxim should read: "All I really need to know, I learned from Hulk Hogan." If everybody idolized the Hulkster, well, the world would be a better place. So, brother, there's just one more question to ask: what'cha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
No shit?? You've GOT to be kidding me!! I'd better call my bookie and cancel all my bets...I've been getting RIPPED-OFF!!!
You're correct.
Hogan faced Piper on MTV's "The War to Settle the Score". This was what set-up the very first Wrestlemania. Hogan won when "Ace" Cowboy Bob Orton did a run-in to get Piper disqualified and beat Hogan down. Then Mr. T got involved. Which lead to the Wresltmania match of Hogan and Mr. T (With Jimmy Snuka in their corner) versus Piper and Paul Orndorf (With Bob Orton in their corner).
I've often thought to myself that with all the tension going on in the Middle East, it would be a great time to bring a character like the Shiek.
Yeah right. That's why when Austin turned heel at last years Wrestlemania (17) Jim Ross had to blatently lie about how the crowd was booing him even though they clearly were not. That is why they had to take away his beer and make him a coffe-drinking guitar-playing dork because he was still so over with the fans and management didn't like it. That is why they had him beat up women. Anything to manipulate fan reaction the way they want it.
Even Undertaker no longer rides his bike because that is a crowd pleaser, and he's now a heel, so the bike had to go.
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