Are you averse to the modern seretonin uptake meds like the modern anti-depressants? The reports of success seem to be MOSTLY RELATIVELY side-effect free, broad based acclaim etc.
I assume you've been the behavior mod conditioning route as much as you care to bother with, too?
Finding an elder brother sort of person sure is a challenge--even in good churches. However, good, loving, warm, humble churches are a good place to start--and they are rare enough themselves. I certainly wouldn't be above getting in the face of a pastor or 3 if that's what it took.
If that wasn't a viable route for some reason, I guess I'd earnestly search out caring souls among my extended network at work, home, shops wherever I knew people at all. IT's SUCH a priority, in my view. I'd try not to leave a stone unturned.
If I had to, I'd secretely hire such a person even if I had to work out some barter arrangement. . . . to spend 2-3 quality hours and some phone call time per week with my son. I'd set up specific, concrete, measurable goals for change on the part of my son. I'd pay a bonus for each significant notch of such improvement. I'd ask a respected male colleague, associate, relative, friend to do the initial interviewing with me. I'd focus on emotional, social etc. healthiness on the part of the individual as well as very tender heartedness, humility, nongay comfort with nongay physical affection of suitable sorts and degrees etc. I'd ask what strategies he'd use to reach the goals I presented. I'd suggest whatever I thought useful and ask the male friend to suggest some. If I could, I'd interview suitable shrinks about same and/or get plenty of stuff off the web for the older brother.
Anyway--for whatever that's worth.
BLESSINGS,
He refuses to discuss being afraid of anything with his therapist, so behavior mod hasn't been an option.
I really appreciate your advice. Sounds like a good way to go. Thanks