AMC
All Makes of Cars
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Basic Marin Wheels
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Born Moderately Wealthy
Bought My Wife
Break My Windows
Broken Money Waster
BUICK
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY
Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Cruddy Hick Engine, Very Yucky
DODGE
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead On Delivery - Go Easy
Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
EDSEL
Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT
Failure In Automotive Technology
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Foolish Italians Attempt Transportation
FORD
Fails On Rainy Days
Fix Or Repair Daily
Flip Over, Read Directions
Found On Road, Dead
Found Outside Refuse Dump
Funny Old Rattling Dump
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSotos
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Fireball On Rear Denting
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Found On Redneck's Driveway
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flipping Over Results in Death
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gotta Mechanic Coming
Got Moms Car
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive...
IROC
I'd Rather Own a Corvette
I'm Really Out of Cash
It's Really Only a Camaro
JEEP
Just Eats Every Part
LTD
Long Term Debt
Last Try from Detroit
Long Time Driving
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG
Money Guzzler
MOPAR
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
My Old Pig Ain't Running My Only Problems Are Repairs
OLDS
One Leak, Dead Starter
Old Lemons Dying Slowly
OLDSMOBILE
Oh, Look, Dammit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything.
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel.
PINTO
Put In Nickel To Operate
PLYMOUTH
Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood
PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE
Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense
Probably Obtained Recently Since Car-owner Hocked Everything
PROBE
Plainly Runs Only By Exception
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
Slow And Always Busted
SUBARU
(backwards) U-R-A-Bus
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Wobbly