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by Mia T, April 1, 2002
n apparently immiscible mix of abused pets and abusive pardons joined forces posthumously this week as the latest players in the ongoing revisionist Harlem-hatched absurdity known as the CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme. This bizarre canine/quid-pro-quo pairing debuted yesterday in a revisionist Newsweek report authored by clinton lapdog, Jonathan Alter; the Newsweek piece was set up to be yet another cozy clintonoid interview of the Colmes kind. Gross clinton "infrastructure" miscalculation, as it turned out. The report has proven to be counterproductive on its face. The clinton "infrastructure" error was to assume sufficient clinton intelligence to navigate these heady times, as well as lapdog immutability in the face of universal post-pardongate, post-9/11 rodham-clinton disdain. Alter reports that the impeached ex-president now regrets having pardoned Marc Rich, not because it was criminal, not because it undermined our democracy, not because it aided and abetted the terrorists, but because it tarnished his legacy...which isn't fair, in any case, because Ken Starr made him do it, continues clinton, according to the report. Had he, himself, not been a victim of "prosecutorial abuse," clinton says he would not have been susceptible to Rich's exhortations. In extreme CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme mode, the disgraced ex-president, nonetheless, fails to explain why he was susceptible to Rich's cash. His lame argument, that he believed cash funneled by the wife, Denise Rich, to his presidential library, (the postmodern rodham-clinton reputation-history-&-money-laundering machine currently under construction), could not have come from the husband because the couple was estranged, is contradicted by the very fact that the wife was lobbying clinton for the husband's pardon... A blockbuster revelation The blockbuster revelation of the Alter piece, however, is less about pardons than about pets; clinton has disclosed that he is getting another chocolate Labrador puppy, a descendent of Buddy. Buddy was the second clinton dog hit by a car and killed because of clinton neglect.The clintons' first dog, Zeke, was killed in 1990 while running loose in Arkansas, (mimicking his master, some have argued). Buddy's name is not lost on this writer. Clinton obviously buys into the Trumanism: "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog," particularly sage advice today, post-pardongate, post-9/11, for the proximate cause of both. Rumor has it that clinton intends to maintain the " friend" theme and name his new puppy "Chum." Some have suggested that given the poor pet's likely endpoint, "Chump" -- or maybe even "Thump" -- would be more appropriate. |
