A note to our non Coast Guard friends, Mattel really does make a Coast Guard version of the GI Joe doll.
Due to popular demand, Mattel is issuing the following alternate Coast Guard GI Joes:
The Airdale version: Comes with tube of styling gel, a tube of Ultrabright and Ray Ban sunglasses.
The "TAD" Airedale version: comes with 3 pregnant Malibu Barbies.
The AIRDET cutter deployed version: comes with seasick bag and sun tan oil. A Chief Petty Officer Coast Guard version is being issued. Unfortunately, the box is empty and nobody can find the figure anywhere.
The "Retired Coastie" version has a pull string. Pull it and it talks...on and on and on and on and on and on....
The "Boatswains" version is complete with six attached knives (sheathes decorated with 8 feet of braided fancywork) and well-stained coffee mug.
The "Engineer" version is complete with brass halyard clip and 362 keys. Makes excellent collector set when purchased with the Retired version, as the Engineer version can't hear a damn thing.
The Ensign version: has spring-loaded bobbing head (constant "yes" motion). Doesn't come out of box, to avoid soiling uniform.
TC (Telecommunications) version: Nobody has seen it yet, as they don't have clearance to access the security box.
HQ (Headquarters) version: Production cancelled due to lack of interest. However, the Commendation Medal accessories are being given away for free.
"M" (Marine Safety) version: accessories include 127 manuals and CFR (Code of Federal Regulations) reference books. Only good for daylight play, as it goes home every night.
Gunner version: Failed in product testing. Seems the action figure refused to let any of the kids play with it's accessories.