Posted on 03/08/2002 10:53:54 AM PST by Pokey78
About a year ago, I wrote about Tony Blair's strange project to Canadianize Britain -- transforming the House of Lords into an Ottawa-style Senate of cronies and pliant deadbeats, introducing "asymmetrical federalism" to the Celtic provinces, etc. The curling fever that has gripped the United Kingdom since they trounced Kelley Law in Utah suggests that even Mr. Blair's electors are getting with the program.
And now, as further evidence, we have the Commonwealth Conference in Queensland, in which the traditionally Canadian role was played by the British Prime Minister. The issue this time was Zimbabwe, "the jewel of Africa," as Robert Mugabe told Ian Smith, his notorious white racist predecessor at independence 20 years ago. After two decades of Mr. Mugabe's stewardship, per capita income has fallen by half, inflation is running at over 100% and unemployment at 60%, and the government has no idea how to correct any of these lamentable developments except by forcing white farmers off their property and turning productive land to dust. The official position is that the present situation is the fault of the white minority and of Britain. Mr. Mugabe, you'll recall, has described Mr. Blair as a "gay gangster" leading "the gay government of the gay United gay Kingdom."
Back in 1980, Robert Mugabe was a cold but courtly Afro-Marxist. He liked cricket for its "civilizing" influence, he had English hunting scenes on the place mats at Government House, and he spoke in the elegant vowels of a post-war London drawing room, not the flatted tones of the veldt settler. He was always an economic illiterate, and a vicious killer as required, but he was not, as he now appears to be, stark staring nuts. Many have speculated on the reasons for this. In Zimbabwe, it is widely believed he's been driven insane by tertiary syphilis. Reliable sources claim Mr. Mugabe's manhood has crumbled away to nothing. Last year, George Potgieter, the manager of a Harare engineering company, wound up in court after telling his workers that (according to court records) "they had no brains because they were being led by a President who had a rubber penis made in China". The workers immediately seized Mr. Potgieter and took him to the nearest police station for breaking the Law and Order Maintenance Act, which forbids exposing the President to "hatred, contempt or ridicule".
I'm not sure what extradition arrangements we have with Harare, so let me hasten to add that neither I nor the editors of the National Post are for one minute suggesting Mr. Mugabe has a rubber penis -- or, if he has, we're sure it's very impressive and top of the range, certainly not some factory-made Chinese thing. I'm no shrink, but it seems to me that if one's twig and berries crumble away to nothing it could conceivably lead one to an unusually intense animus against certain forms of male sex. Thus, Mr. Mugabe's speech two years ago accusing Britain of a plot to impose homosexuality throughout the Commonwealth.
With his country crumbling away faster than his penis, there's now something for everyone to complain about. On the British right, Mugabe's assaults on the white farmers vindicate everything they always said about him. On the British left, the rampant homophobia cost him the support of all those champagne socialists who cheered his rise to power 20 years earlier. Mr. Blair arrived in Queensland determined that the Commonwealth "do the right thing". He took the moral high ground, the position traditionally held in Her Majesty's realms by Canada. Don't take my word for it. Michael Valpy wrote an excellent column on the subject in yesterday's Globe and Mail. Things have come to a pretty pass when a right-wing madman like me is saying some NDP squish is bang on target, but I honestly don't think I can improve on Valpy's summary:
"The issue was human rights, morality, a state that kills political opponents, corrupts elections, undermines judicial independence and restricts freedom of press and of assembly.
"British Prime Minister Tony Blair unequivocally wanted an immediate suspension of Zimbabwe from the Commonwealth. 'What is happening there is completely unacceptable, an outrage in terms of democracy,' he said.
"Jean ChrŽtien undermined him, and Canadian officials boasted of his success. 'This was Canada's day,' said one."
And what was done in Canada's name on Canada's day? A "compromise" was crafted postponing any action or ultimatum by the Commonwealth until after this weekend's elections. Instead, a one-page statement was issued expressing "deep concern" about the campaign and urging "all parties" to desist from violence. A nice touch, that "all parties." M. ChrŽtien claimed credit for coming up with, in his estimate, 80 per cent of the wording. It would salvage some shred of Canada's honour if the 20 per cent he didn't have his fingerprints on included that contemptible "all parties" line. But somehow I doubt it.
"Everybody has agreed that nothing will be done before the elections," said M. ChrŽtien. But everybody didn't stay agreed for long, and some of our Prime Minister's colleagues were at pains to distance themselves from "Canada's day." "The communique reads a little like everyone is responsible for the violence and intimidation. That is not the case," said New Zealand's Labour Prime Minister, Helen Clark, adding that the Commonwealth's failure to do anything makes it look "slightly silly." "We should have provided a far stronger statement and backed it up with action," said Tony Blair.
"Everybody has agreed that nothing will be done." There is Lloyd Axworthy's "soft power" doctrine in a nutshell: Consensus in the cause of inertia is no vice. Back in Harare, meanwhile, Robert Mugabe is busier than ever. Stunned by the Commonwealth's ChrŽtien-authored statement of "deep concern," he waited all of 20 minutes before reinstituting the draconian new election laws Zimbabwe's Supreme Court had slung out a week earlier. These laws permit Mr. Mugabe's Zanu-PF "supervisors" and their gangs to decide at the polling station who is eligible to vote. The "fairness" of the poll is no longer in doubt, only the result.
It's possible to rig everything in your favour and still lose (the last Quebec referendum comes to mind), and Mugabe himself seems slightly nervous as to whether he's done enough to steal victory. There are indications he's been looting the Treasury and making provisions for exile. But of his intent to steal the election there's no doubt. Some 75,000 opposition supporters have been "displaced" in the last two months, over 30 political opponents have been murdered, and the electoral rolls are padded with phantoms and fictions. But on "Canada's day" at the Commonwealth Conference M. ChrŽtien neutered any attempt to do anything.
Sometimes we conservatives spend so much time mourning the loss of the old Dominion of Canada that we don't notice that the principled lefties have lost their Canada, too. After Vimy, Juno and the Red Ensign came the new Canada, the "honest broker" that 40 years ago insisted a racist South Africa could not remain in the Commonwealth, that apartheid was incompatible with membership in the international community. As Michael Valpy put it, "if any so-called white Commonwealth government does not have to defend its bona fides, it is Canada's." But the "honest broker" has decayed into a "soft power", and Lester B. Pearson's successor takes the view that "da Canadian values" are best expressed by a multilateral agreement to turn a blind eye. If it really is Canada's day, it's a day of which we should all be ashamed. In Queensland, da Canadian values were expressed by Tony Blair and Helen Clark.
Robert Mugabe is a pipsqueak, but, six months after Sept. 11, M. ChrŽtien is still in Durban mode, appeasing the world's freaks and failures. Whether or not Mr. Mugabe has no penis, M. ChrŽtien certainly has no balls.
Even the execrable Arkkkansas Abberration had to make an effort to edge out KKKarter as America's very-worst-ever "president."
Bon Soir, M By!
Comment allez-vous, ce soir?
Bien?
Javeagoodweekend, n'est ce pas?
FRegardez!
<];^)~<
Brian
Mark Steyn at his very best, LOL!!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.