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Marital Rape - What a "Can of Worms"!
Strike the root ^ | Stuart A. Miller

Posted on 03/04/2002 6:41:04 PM PST by softengine

Many states, Virginia included, are hurriedly passing marital rape laws. Major societal policy positions such as this inevitably open a “can of worms”--which is defined by Roget’s II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition, as “a situation that presents difficulty, uncertainty, or perplexity” and lists “hornets’ nest” as a synonym.

Fast, angry, biting, stinging insects seems to more accurately describe the issue of marital rape than does a “can of worms,” although there is no doubt that the entire concept of marital rape does present difficult and perplexing implications.

Marriage already belongs on the endangered species list and deserves our urgent protection. Moreover, the institution of marriage deserves society’s encouragement, especially given that women are safer, men are healthier3 and all reputable psychological data reveal that children fare best in two-parent, married, intact families.

However, common sense fails to expose how the possibility of being charged with marital rape is likely to help encourage men to get married. It would seem that it would have the opposite effect.

But the gloomy impact on marriage derived from marital rape laws is premised on the proposition that men possess common sense. I proffer they do not and are simple, hopeless romantics.

Contrary to popular propaganda, we do not live in a patriarchal society. Rather, we live in a paternalistic society where we bend over backwards to protect women and children to such an extent that it overshadows our own common sense.

As a result, most of the hysterical, overreacting legislation designed to protect women is championed by men. This is not to say that the legislation was not suggested by angry, stinging, biting radical feminists. It usually is. But the measures are carried by well-intentioned men who lack common sense and sincerely believe they are “loving women” and in return “loved by women.”

This romanticism and lack of common sense is why men will probably continue to marry, in spite of the data and the very real possible consequences of such a risky proposition.

In one of the largest studies of its kind, the American Law and Economics Review4 reported that at least two-thirds of divorce suits are filed by women. In cases where divorce is not mutually desired, women are more than twice as likely to be the ones who want out of the marriage. The study, from 1995, also revealed that less than six percent of divorces contained allegations of violence and that women are much more willing to split up because--unlike men--they typically do not fear losing custody of the children. Instead, a divorce often enables them to gain full legal control over the children.

When women are afraid of having to share custody or of losing custody of the children, they frequently resort to claims of domestic violence to gain legal advantage. In Massachusetts, a survey of lawyers revealed that 70 percent of divorces contained allegations of domestic violence. Attorney Sheara Friend, of the Wellesley firm Kahalas, Warshaw & Friend, estimates that about half of all restraining orders are merely legal maneuvers, where there is no real fear of injury on anyone's part.

Most restraining orders expel the husband from his home, award sole custody of his children to the mother, award child support to the mother and are accompanied or immediately followed by property and alimony claims--all with nothing more than her assertion that she was “intimidated by him or his presence.”

One might think that someone who wants out of a marriage would be satisfied with a practically guaranteed windfall profit of half the house, ownership of the children, child support payments and possibly alimony to boot. But due to human nature, some people are more selfish and try to hurt or even imprison their former partner.

Heretofore, false allegations of child sex abuse served as the nuclear bomb in acrimonious divorce proceedings. However, medical examiners and child psychologists have become increasingly more sophisticated. Medical evidence showing no sexual activity on the part of the children, either consensual or coerced, combined with truth revealing psychological inquiry makes false allegations of child sex abuse very risky, as they could backfire and cause the “false allegator” (as they are referred to by police) to lose custody and all the associated benefits and claims.

However, there is little risk associated with marital rape allegations. All a selfish or vindictive woman has to do is have sex with her husband and then claim marital rape. According to the Maryland Department of Fiscal Services, the average sentence for rape in that state is 29 years.

Without trying to sound like Homo Habilis7, many judges will be reluctant to hand down such stiff sentences, in spite of their paternalistic nature--much for the same reason they don’t like charging tenants who are current on rent, with trespassing in their own apartments. Nonetheless, they will likely hand down severe enough sentences to guarantee that a selfish woman wins everything in a divorce. After all, it is a crime for which the man cannot prove his innocence.

This is disconcerting, especially given that in 1983, the U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations found that 27 percent of the rape accusers admitted, either just before taking a polygraph test or after failing one, that they had lied.8 In 1994, the Archives of Sexual Behavior reported, that in a survey of all the forcible rape complaints during a three-year period at two large Midwestern state universities, 50 percent of the accusations were false. Fifty-three percent of the false accusations were motivated by a need for an alibi; revenge was the motive for 44 percent.

The potential for mischief is so great with the proposition of marital rape laws that the such laws are more likely to do more harm than good. While there may be legitimate cases of marital rape, such acts of violence are already covered by statutes and it is unlikely that benefits from marital rape statutes will outweigh the harm done to innocent men and their children through false allegations of the same.

We once lived in a society where we held dear that it is better that nine guilty men go free than one innocent man hang.10 Now, we seem to hold dear the exact opposite--that nine innocent men hang to make sure that one “possibly” guilty man doesn’t escape his “just rewards.”

Let us hope and pray that men never wake up to the stinging hornets and snapping alligators that are stealing his love, his life, his children, his happiness and even his freedom--or else marriage will cease to exist--as did many of the principles of justice that we also once held dear, that now exist as Poe’s Raven said, “Nevermore.”


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: sasu
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But the gloomy impact on marriage derived from marital rape laws is premised on the proposition that men possess common sense.

HA!

What nitwit made that supposition?

I'm kidding guys. Ya'll are great. And these marital rape laws, if this is real, are designed to destoy you (and marriage). So, heads up.

No pun intended.

1 posted on 03/04/2002 6:41:05 PM PST by softengine
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2 posted on 03/04/2002 6:42:25 PM PST by Texaggie79
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To: softengine
Wonder if men can cry rape and send their wives to jail?
3 posted on 03/04/2002 6:53:44 PM PST by Captain Shady
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To: softengine
Women are supposed to 'obey'... bottom line...

























;0)

4 posted on 03/04/2002 7:05:41 PM PST by Chad Fairbanks
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To: Chad Fairbanks
Sounds like a man who likes to obey.
Sit!! Shut-up!!
5 posted on 03/04/2002 7:10:21 PM PST by KenPhil
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To: softengine
Who's trying to pass these commie "marital rape" laws, anyway? Raping your wife is as American as an M1 Garand and TWICE as American as apple pie and democracy and all that stuff.

(If you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic)

Of course, I also believe there should be EVIDENCE before anyone gets sent to jail. Only when there is clear evidence in the case where a woman claims she's been raped by her husband should he be charged with a crime. Otherwise, she's just got to pack up, move out, get a divorce, and leech off his income for the rest of her life.

As long as this law demands accusers bring real evidence that they've been raped, it really doesn't change much legally.

6 posted on 03/04/2002 7:12:01 PM PST by xm177e2
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To: KenPhil
No! I wear the pants in this house (when I'm finished with her laundry...) ;0)
7 posted on 03/04/2002 7:13:29 PM PST by Chad Fairbanks
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To: softengine
Re #1

One of the major enemy in fight against demented feminists and their male allies are men who still live with chivalry code. Even if women do not appreciate such chivalry code and kick him at the groin, he still endure pain and is convinced that this wayward woman will wake up and come around some day. And everbody lives happily ever after. So does the wish go. Even though they are 250 pound muscular man with real courage, they are wimps when it comes to fighting these nasty women. They take the motto, "you cannot hit a girl", too far. It is not about hitting, it is about arguing. But they shy away, not that they lack debating skill. But taking on woman is so unmanly and cowardly to them. So women get easy victory by default. Because they do not stand up, men have to put up with ever more ridiculous nonsense. These men figure that, if they let current problem slide, everything will be OK. That is not so. These women will come back with even more outrageous nonsense which they will try to ram into men's throat. These men who are brave against viscious enemies in the battle, who can battle dagerous fires, are completely paralyzed when it comes to confront these women. They have to stand up. Otherwise, they will be tied down like Gulliver without committing any real crime. This is no longer funny. These people hope that some nasty guy will do their dirty work for them so that they can salvage manly gentlemen image. But this dirty work they have to do it for themselves. Because in politics, the number matters.

8 posted on 03/04/2002 7:16:46 PM PST by TigerLikesRooster
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To: softengine
Say what? The courts have held that rape can occur within marriage for about the last thirty years. This changes nothing.
11 posted on 03/04/2002 7:26:40 PM PST by Grut
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To: AdamWeisshaupt
Video evidence of the woman screaming, or witnesses who saw the rape (which isn't likely in a marital situation) is about all I can think of. It's really a shame how quickly we toss out evidentiary standards when it comes to crimes like rape, anyone can claim anything.

Without that, the woman should just admit she made a mistake marrying the creep, and get a divorce.

12 posted on 03/04/2002 7:27:43 PM PST by xm177e2
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Comment #13 Removed by Moderator

Comment #14 Removed by Moderator

To: EricOKC
Re #9

The worst is that woman in tears runs back to her husband, activating husband' protective instinct. Some husband is, unfortunately, completely controlled by his wife. She sold this poor little woman thing 100% to her husband to the point of complete brain washing. He will jump out like a well-trained dog. It never occur to him that she is a nasty manipulative woman.

15 posted on 03/04/2002 7:30:31 PM PST by TigerLikesRooster
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To: softengine
I notice there is no talk about nasty consequences for false allegations.
16 posted on 03/04/2002 7:33:44 PM PST by Tench_Coxe
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To: AdamWeisshaupt
Ah, forget it. Yesterday a thread showed a DA prosecuting a 7 year old kid for pulling a toy gun on his buddy. This country is going to hell.
17 posted on 03/04/2002 7:36:42 PM PST by 1 FELLOW FREEPER
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To: Grut
Say what? The courts have held that rape can occur within marriage for about the last thirty years. This changes nothing.

I've spoken with an individual via USENET who honestly thinks that it is impossible for a husband to rape his wife, because the marriage itself implies consent at all times. His bases this assertion on the Bible -- mind you, many other Christian posters don't agree with his psychotic views.
18 posted on 03/04/2002 7:37:34 PM PST by Dimensio
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To: Dimensio
Let's put it this way...Rape can happen anytime a woman says no, however, when you're talking about a married couple it is nothing more than a he said/she said (kind of like date rape but even more difficult). In this case, it would have to be one convincing story for me to convict a man for this...
19 posted on 03/04/2002 7:43:41 PM PST by cactmh
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To: Dimensio
Which newsgroup is this moron posting in? Sounds like an opportunity to have a little fun.
20 posted on 03/04/2002 7:47:03 PM PST by strela
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