Definition of an Engineer
"An engineer is one who passes as an exacting expert on the strength of being able to turn out with prolific fortitude strings of incomprehensible formulae calculated with micrometric precision from extremely vague assumptions which are based on debatable figures acquired from inconclusive tests and quite incomplete experiments carried out with instruments of problematic accuracy by persons of doubtful reliability and rather dubious mentality with particular anticipation of disconcerting and annoying everyone outside their own fraternity."
Loved the ones you posted also. Am going to copy them for future chuckles!