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MY SOUTH
Ever Vigilant ^ | Robert St. John

Posted on 02/14/2002 9:01:00 AM PST by sheltonmac

Thirty years ago I visited my first cousin in Virginia. While hanging out with his friend, the discussion turned to popular movies of the day. When I offered my two-cents on the authenticity and social relevance of the movie Billy Jack, one of the boys asked, in all seriousness; "Do you guys have movie theaters down there?" To which I replied, "Yep. We wear shoes too."

Just three years ago, my wife and I were attending a food and wine seminar in Aspen, Colorado. We were seated with two couples from Las Vegas. One of the Glitter Gulch gals was amused and downright rude when I described our restaurant as a fine-dining restaurant. "Mississippi doesn't have fine-dining restaurants!" she demanded and nudged her companion. I fought back the strong desire to mention that she lived in the land that invented the 99-cent breakfast buffet.

I wanted badly to defend my state and my restaurant with a 15-minute soliloquy and public relations rant that would surely change her mind. It was at that precise moment that I was hit with a blinding jolt of enlightenment, and in a moment of complete and absolute clarity it dawned on me -- my South is the best-kept secret in the country. Why would I try to win this woman over? She might move down here.

I am always amused by Hollywood's interpretation of the South. We are still, on occasion, depicted as a collective group of sweaty, stupid, backwards-minded and racist rednecks. The South of movies and TV, the Hollywood South, is not my South.

This is my South:

- My South is full of honest, hard-working people.

- My South is colorblind. In my South, we don't put a premium on pigment. No one cares whether you are black, white, red, or green with orange polka dots.

- My South is the birthplace of blues and jazz, and rock n' roll. It has banjo pickers and fiddle players, but it also has B.B. King, Muddy Waters, the Allman Brothers, Emmylou Harris, and Elvis.

- My South is hot.

- My South smells of newly mowed grass.

- My South was the South of The Partridge Family, Hawaii 5-0, and kick the can.

- My South was creek swimming, cane-pole fishing, and bird hunting.

- In my South, football is king, and the Southeastern Conference is the kingdom.

- My South is home to the most beautiful women on the planet.

- In my South, soul food and country cooking are the same thing.

- My South is full of fig preserves, cornbread, butter beans, fried chicken, grits and catfish.

- In my South we eat foie gras, caviar, and truffles.

- In my South, our transistor radios introduced us to the Beatles and the Rolling Stones at the same time they were introduced to the rest of the country.

- In my South, grandmothers cook a big lunch every Sunday.

- In my South, family matters, deeply.

- My South is boiled shrimp, blackberry cobbler, peach ice cream, banana pudding, and oatmeal cream pies.

- In my South people put peanuts in bottles of Coca Cola and hot sauce on almost everything.

- In my South the tea is iced and almost as sweet as the women.

- My South has air-conditioning.

- My South is camellias, azaleas, wisteria, and hydrangeas.

- In my South, the only person that has to sit on the back of the bus is the last person that got on the bus.

- In my South, people still say "yes, ma'am," "no ma'am," "please," and "thank you."

- In my South, we all wear shoes....most of the time.

My South is the best-kept secret in the country. Please continue to keep the secret....it keeps the idiots away.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
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1 posted on 02/14/2002 9:01:00 AM PST by sheltonmac
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To: Derville; shuckmaster; sola gracia; Dawntreader; greenthumb; JoeGar; Intimidator; ThJ1800...
Southern heritage BUMP!
2 posted on 02/14/2002 9:02:34 AM PST by sheltonmac
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: sheltonmac
Please continue to keep the secret....

By posting in on FR? Just kidding - good post Sheltonmac!

4 posted on 02/14/2002 9:05:48 AM PST by stainlessbanner
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To: Yellow Rose of Texas;Billie;COB1,Exeter;gulfcoast6;Chapita
bump
5 posted on 02/14/2002 9:10:57 AM PST by razorback-bert
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To: sheltonmac
My South is camellias, azaleas, wisteria, and hydrangeas

Half of which are already in full bloom this time of year! Durn it's nice to live where winter lasts two weeks...

6 posted on 02/14/2002 9:12:25 AM PST by Cleburne
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To: sheltonmac
Southern heritage BUMP!
7 posted on 02/14/2002 9:14:40 AM PST by jgrubbs
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To: All
I don't bother to correct Yanks, Left Coasters, and others when they make their "Tobacco Road" remarks about the South. If they're that ignorant, why educate them? Let them be happy and smug in their erroneous assumptions. That's the best revenge.....
8 posted on 02/14/2002 9:14:45 AM PST by Malcolm
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To: sheltonmac
"My South is the best-kept secret in the country. Please continue to keep the secret....it keeps the idiots away."

Your south where family trees don't branch!

<-/grin->

9 posted on 02/14/2002 9:14:56 AM PST by SERE_DOC
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: sheltonmac
Nicely said. Thanks for defending us.
11 posted on 02/14/2002 9:17:15 AM PST by Amore
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To: sheltonmac
That's MY SOUTH, TOO! lol What a hell of a post. SEC football rules and I believe I am prepared to go to war with any Big 10 yankee that disagrees! heh heh DEO VINDICE!
12 posted on 02/14/2002 9:17:24 AM PST by rebelyell
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Comment #13 Removed by Moderator

To: sheltonmac
Isn't Virginia considered a southern state?
14 posted on 02/14/2002 9:19:53 AM PST by geaux
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Comment #15 Removed by Moderator

To: jla
Dixie Ping! :-)
16 posted on 02/14/2002 9:21:24 AM PST by Happygal
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To: sheltonmac
I was born and raised in Alabama. I've been lots of places, but there is no place like the South.

BUMP!

17 posted on 02/14/2002 9:21:33 AM PST by Lorraine
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Comment #18 Removed by Moderator

To: Friend_Or_Foe
Thank you. I have waited years for someone to put it in simple language and you finally did it. There is a difference...oh so much...between anyone from the south and...say a New Englander, or a midwesterner, or a west coast idiot. We are not shameless or crazy, we simply march to a historical drummer. Those who came into the Carolinas, Georgia, and Virginia...branched out into the south throughout the 1600 and 1700s, make us the way we are today. If you desire manners, or proper attitude, then this is the only place in America to get a kind word or a thank-you. Lets face, we bring so much to the land in our gentle ways.
19 posted on 02/14/2002 9:22:37 AM PST by pepsionice
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To: sheltonmac
I was born in Mobile, Alabama, then raised in Louisiana, where I still am today. I'll never leave it.

I once did a six month stint on a large construction site in Baltimore. People there actually ask you how high your house is off the ground, and how do you keep the alligators out of your yard! And they really do think we all run around barefoot, except on Sunday! I love it! It's hilarious! But I'll never go up North again- filthy, grey, depressing place.

20 posted on 02/14/2002 9:23:18 AM PST by DETAILER
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