Tattoos
...Westy..
Posted on 01/29/2002 10:45:19 AM PST by scouse
Telepathic Football Threatens Chilean Teens
VILLA SAN RAFAEL, Chile (Wireless Flash) -- Forget Bigfoot or the Mothman. The newest paranormal creature is a four-legged football.
Believe it or not, a creature matching that exact description has been sighted threatening teenagers in Villa San Rafael, Chile.
Researchers at the Calama UFO Center in Chile claim the mysterious menace has wings, a face like a large bulldog and is "shaped like a rugby football with legs."
Paranormal researcher Dr. Virgilio Sanchez-Ocejo isn't sure if the creature is one of those goat-sucking chupacabras, but admits both animals telepathically communicate with humans.
The winged football is just one of hundreds of strange creatures that have been terrorizing Chile since 1999 and Dr. Sanchez-Ocejo suspects the mysterious beings are entering Chile through a dimensional doorway.
Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
and a torso even more so.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is The Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too.
... Harold Arlen & Yip Harburg
My pretty albatross - I could have been the Captain of the Pinafore instead of Pirating in Penzance, but you were hard of hearing and the story bears repeating:
When AC was a little lad he proved so brave and daring,
His father thought he'd 'prentice him to some career seafaring.
I was, alas! his nurs'rymaid, and so it fell to my lot
To take and bind the promising boy apprentice to a pilot –
A life not bad for a hardy lad, though surely not a high lot,
Though I'm a nurse, you might do worse than make your boy a pilot.
I was a stupid nurs'rymaid, on breakers always steering,
And I did not catch the word aright, through being hard of hearing;
Mistaking my instructions, which within my brain did gyrate,
I took and bound this promising boy apprentice to a pirate.
A sad mistake it was to make and doom him to a vile lot.
I bound him to a pirate -- you! -- instead of to a pilot.
I soon found out, beyond all doubt, the scope of this disaster,
But I hadn't the face to return to my place, and break it to my master.
A nurs'rymaid is not afraid of what you people call work,
So I made up my mind to go as a kind of piratical maid-of-all-work.
And that is how you find me now, a member of your shy lot,
Which you wouldn't have found, had he been bound apprentice to a pilot.
I forgive you my siren of the sea.
Remember when you asked of me,
your duties to define.
I too was hard of hearing
and made you my concubine.
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