A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos." The blonde then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and it keeps cold things cold." The blonde says, "Oh! I could use something like that! I'll take it!" The next day, as she walks into work with her new thermos, she spots her boss and shows off her shiny new thermos. "I just got this yesterday, isn't it wonderful. It's a thermos, and it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss aks, "And what do you have in it?" The blonde replies, "Some coffee and a popsicle."
A blonde with two red ears went to the doctor. She explained, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang. Instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it on my ear." "Oh, dear!" exclaimed the doctor in horror. "But... what happened to your other ear?" The blonde replied, "The jerk called back
A blonde and a brunette are speeding along a highway, and a cop pulls them over. Since the brunette was driving, she starts to get her license out. She says to the blonde, "Are the cop's lights on?" The blonde replies "Yes... no... yes... no... yes..."
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street
A blonde working in a office is constantly being kidded about how dumb she is; so one evening she goes home and studies a map of the United States. The next day she goes into the office and announces that she knows all 50 states and their capitols. One of her office mates says, "OK, whats the capitol of Wyoming?" and the blonde replies, "W."
A dumb blonde walks into a beauty shop, wearing stereo headphones, and tells the hair consultant that she would like a new hairdo. The hair stylist tells the blonde that she has to take her headphones off. The blonde replies (in Valley Speak), "If I take my headphones off, I'll just die. I'll just die!" Not wishing to lose a client, the hairstylist decides to work around the headphones. While gingerly working with the blonde's hair, the stylist noticed that she fell asleep. The stylist removes the headphones, and tragically, the blonde expires. Her sudeen death remained a mystery until the coroner arrived and listened to the deceased blonde's headphones. From the headphones, the coroner heard "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..."