Posted on 01/22/2002 6:06:49 PM PST by billorites
Presidents In Oz!
The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ.
They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.
"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly:" I've come for some courage."
"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a brain."
"DONE" says the Wizard.
"WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"
Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."
There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Is Dorothy here?"
Dubya and Al (count-em-again) Gore just finished the first of 2 debates, they exit the building and head in seperate directions.
Al Gore notices a young boy pulling a wagon full of tiny little puppies, he says to the boy "My! those are cute puppies what kind are they?" The boy answers "They're democrats" Gore gets a bick kick out of the boys response and he and his Secret Service guys laugh and walk off.
The next week at the same location they debate again and afterwards they leave together and Gore notices the same boy pulling the wagon full of puppies. He winks at his security guys and says "Watch this", At that point Al Gore says "Hey George come check out these puppies.
George W. Bush says "OK Al! but I'm in a hurry" So together they walk over to the boy and Al gore with a big grin on his face as he winks at his Secret Service guys and says "MY! young man, Those are cute puppies, what kind are they" The boy replies "They're Republicans", Al Gore grabs the little boy by the shirt and says "Hey! wait a minute you little punk, last week they were democrats, What gives?" the boy said "This week they've opened their eyes"
Mr. Star to Ms. Lewinski: Please describe the incident between you and Mr. Clinton
Ms. Lewinski: Well (pauses), um... well, it was like a Tic Tac. (background laughter) and didn't last as long...
The skunk has skid marks in front of it.
After some thought, he found the perfect solution. He locked Hillary into a chastity belt. It was a very special chastity belt, it had a built in guillotine.
Bill was gone for about a month. When he returned, he lined up all his cabinet membedrs and ordered the men to drop their trousers. Every one of the men had a most peculiar wound to their private parts.
Bill Clinton was really disappointed: They were all like him. Sadly, Bill walks over to Janet Reno and Donna Shalala, and says, "At least, I know you don't do things like this."
Janet Reno and Donna Shalala were both speechless.
LOL, no actually not. Just a quasi-joke I once heard, but wouldn't it be a riot if that actually happened? The media always tried playing up the portion of Clinton as a lady's man, imagine how far they would go to bury this tid bit of info.
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