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Posted on 01/08/2002 5:19:24 PM PST by PJ-Comix
Okay, I caught a bunch of flak because I found "Lord Of The Rings" BORRRRRINNNGGGG! One reason, among others, is that I found the dialogue to be dull. I like movies with good dialogue. With good dialogue, a movie can be quite interesting even with minimal action.
One problem nowadays is that Special Effects have replaced DIALOGUE which is why there are few good dialogue movies nowadays. Most of the good dialogue movies I have to catch on the tube where they play old movies.
Here is a list of a few good DIALOGUE movies. A lot of them were directed by Billy Wilder. My favorite dialogue movie is Stalag 17. The dialogue in that movie was incredible. Hardly a thing was said that wasn't fascinating. I must have seen Stalag 17 at least 50 times and I never get tired of it. The lines in that script were CLASSIC. Remember when the camp commandant portrayed by Otto Preminger said: "Curtains would do wonders for these barracks....You vill NOT get them!"
Okay, here is my partial list of great dialogue movies:
1. Stalag 17
2. A Foreign Affair
3. Casablanca
4. No Time For Sergeants
5. The African Queen
6. Sunset Boulevard
7. Stagecoach
8. Mr. Roberts
9. The Seven Year Itch
10. Dr. Strangelove
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy f*cking walrus-looking piece of sh*t! Get the f*ck off of my obstacle! Get the f*ck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!
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Private Joker: The dead know only one thing: it's better to be alive.
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Crazy Earl: These are great days we're living, bros! We are jolly green giants, walking the earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth shooting.
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Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?
Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.
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Private Joker: My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming F*ck Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece and short. I'm in a world of sh*t... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps!
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Today you people are no longer maggots. Today you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood.
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless.
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: How tall are you, private?
Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high.
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Private Joker: Leonard, if Hartman finds us here, we'll be in a world of sh*t.
Private Gomer Pyle: I *am*... in a world... of sh*t.
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Pvt. Eightball: I guess they'd rather be alive than free. Poor dumb bastards.
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Who said that? Who the f*ck said that? Who's the slimy communist shit twinkle-toed c*cksucker who just signed his own death warrant?
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Jesus Christ Pyle, don't try too hard. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there, wouldn't he?
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Were you born worthless, or did you have to work at it?
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: I bet you're the kind of guy that would f*ck a person in the ass and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around.
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: A rifle is only a tool. It's a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead Marines. And then you will be in a world of sh*t. Because Marines are not allowed to die without permission! Do you maggots understand?
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three f*ckin' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull f*ck you!
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Pyle, you had best unf*ck yourself and start sh*tting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely f*ck you up!
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Pvt. Cowboy: You know there's not a single horse in the entire country of Vietnam? There's definitely something wrong with that.
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Pvt. Cowboy: I think what she's trying to say is that you black boys pack too much meat.
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Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?
Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
Private Joker: "Born to Kill," sir.
Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!
Private Joker: No, sir.
Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant sh*t on you!
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
Pogue Colonel: The what?
- Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
Private Joker: Our side, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Don't you love your country?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
Private Joker: Yes, sir!
Pogue Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.
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Animal Mother: You a photographer?
Private Joker: I'm a combat correspondent.
Animal Mother: Well you seen much combat?
Private Joker: I've seen a little on TV.
Animal Mother: You're a real comedian.
Private Joker: Well they call me Joker.
Animal Mother: Well I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole.
Private Joker: Only after you eat the peanuts out of my sh*t.
Animal Mother: You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?
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Private Joker: I wanted to meet stimulating and interesting people of an ancient culture, and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.
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Door Gunner: Anyone who runs is V.C. Anyone who stands still is well-disciplined V.C.
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Private Joker: How can you shoot women and children?
Door Gunner: Easy... you don't lead 'em so much. [laughs] Ain't war hell?!
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Da Nang Hooker: Hey, you got girlfriend Vietnam? Me so horny. Me love you long time.
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Pvt. Eightball: What we have here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake. But it ain't too goddamned beau coup.
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Marines: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.
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Marines: [Chanting] This is my rifle. [Grabbing their crotches.] This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun.
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Animal Mother: Well, if you ask me, uh, we're shooting the wrong gooks.
2. Casablanca
3. The Maltese Falcon
4. The Cheap Detective very entertaining Neil Simon piece that requires thorough knowledge of Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon to truly appreciate.
5. The Princess Bride.
6. Notting Hill
'600 funny men'!
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"My name is pronounced Fraankenschteen!"
From "The African Queen":
"Trouble with you, Miss, is you don't know nothing about boats."
Smoke Signals. "John Wayne's teeth, heya..."
O Brother Where Art Thou? "You ever been with a woman?" "... I got to get the farm back afore I start thinkin' 'bout that."
The Twelve Chairs. "I hate people that I don't like."
Avalon. "You cut the turkey?!"
Bottle Rocket. "On the run from Johnny Law... ain't no trip to Cleveland!"
The Lady Vanishes. "You know why I like you? You remind me of my father. Like you, he hadn't any manners at all, and he was always seeing things."
His Girl Friday
Adam's Rib
Philadelphia Story
And on another level, but I love the silly dialogue, "The Three Amigos"
"Sew like the wind, old woman"
Don't have a link to the dialogue handy, but the game on the tennis court thing was great.
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