TOP TEN LIST: Suggestions For A Sexier CNN

[Doctor Raoul]

10. Breast implant surgery for Andrea Thompson

9. Throw Mardi Gras beads at Helen Thomas

8. Remake “Long Dong Silver” starring Bernie Shaw

7. Schedule John King for that much over due bikini wax

6. "Live Nude Sex Show with Eleanor Clift and Joe Conason"

5. Replace Crossfire’s Tucker Carlson with Dr Ruth

4. Replace Crossfire’s Bill Press with a Real Man

3. "Cross Dressing With Kaplan" starring the Lewinsky dress

2. Lower studio temperature, call it “CNN Headlights News”

1. Breast reduction surgery for Wolf Blizter

[noexcuses]

You are going to have some very scary nightmares tonight :-)

[Liz]

Male dancers in thong bikinis as intro to news segments.

[antienvironmentalist]

Remember when Bill Bradley took off Larry King's Glasses to be "spontaneous". Imagine if he ripped off Larry's shirt afterward. Just imagine Larry with his man breasts and no glasses. I have to go clean my lunch off my shirt now.

[Doctor Raoul]

4. Replace Crossfire’s Bill Press with a Real Man

CNN just signed Richard Simmons. Press better revise that resume.

[JennysCool]

CNN=Cable News...Naked!

[GotMojo]

She has to take off her shoes to show her stuff!

[JennysCool]

"Why Do You Think They Call It ... Cable?"

[GotMojo]

Central Nookie Network

[JennysCool]

"Tonight...On A Very Special 'Larry King Nude' ..."

[charphar]

This quote from the Washington Times account of CNN yanking the "Paula Zahn is sexy" ad...

"Sexy or not, the blond, svelte Miss Zahn turns 46 next month, is the mother of three and has spent 23 years before the camera as a correspondent for CBS and ABC, among others. If anything, the news that a woman in such circumstances is officially "sexy" should reassure middle-aged females everywhere, save die-hard feminists."

Again, I say, she is pretty easy on the eyes!

[JennysCool]

"TalkBack Live" ... Less Talk, More Back ...

[demkicker]

SUGGESTIONS FOR A SEXIER CNN:

HOW ABOUT REPORTING THE TRUTH? I'VE ALWAYS FOUND IT TO BE VERY "SEXY".

[abclily]

Very, very funny!!!

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

I just heaved dinner over # 6......

[spokeshave]

Dwarf hurling starring the gravitationally challenged "little Tommy Dasshole"

Industrial liposuction demonstrated by Naddler the Pizza

Thong snapping with billy clintoon and Monica

Macheavelli for the pearl and twinset group hosted by shrillary clintoon

[WriteOn]

BWAHAHAHAH

[Doc On The Bay]

WRONG on "All Counts!"

Larry King just interviewed Sarah Ferguson.

She is an ASTOUNDINGLY BEAUTIFUL & INTELLIGENT representative of the "ENGLISH PERSPECTIVE!"

She is a"Modern Guenevere!"

IF the current Monarchy CANNOT find a way to "integrate" "Fergie" into it's "Succession," then the British Monarchy is STUPID!!

I have LOTS of "Faith" in the Monarchy; I believe they will "Make us Proud--& AWED." ----& "Fergie" will be revered for "Generations to Come!"

I cannot explain my "Hunch," but I believe that the "Fate" of "America" is irrevocably tied to the "Fate" of England!

Doc

[WriteOn]

She's not a journalist.

[WriteOn]

LOL

[contessa machiaveli]

machiavelli? what do i have to do with this.