Replies

Thank you for clearing this matter up for me. I had no idea that I was such a horrible person!

My wife and I don't want kids either. And the bigotry she is faced with at work -- and that's what it is, bigotry -- is so severe that the last time she changed jobs she decided to LIE about the kid issue when asked. Now, instead of saying, "we aren't planning on having kids," she has chosen to say, "yeah, someday," because if she doesn't lie the Mommy Mafia will make life hard on her. Her supervisors are part of the Mommy Mafia; if they look down on her for any arbitrary personal reason it will have (HAS had) an impact on her career path.

(Meanwhile the woman with 3 kids by 3 different ex-husbands, well, everyone coos over her and her brood. That's a better lifestyle choice? I don't think so.)

At the earlier workplace she wasn't Making a Big Deal out of her views, by the way, she was just giving an honest and answer when asked... but the intolerance of her coworkers was remarkably unpleasant nonetheless.

So please, all of you who are down on the no-kids crowd, just stuff it! Don't make guesses about the sham that our non-kid relationships must be, or about how "selfish" and "empty" we are. Don't become embittered and hateful because we have made a lifestyle decision that you don't like. *It doesn't concern you.* How can you get so worked up over an "injustice" to someone who isn't even conceived yet?

Frankly, the hostility we see makes us think that many people with kids must feel like they have made a terrible mistake... The loudest of you often sound like you are jealous. You go on about how those 3AM feedings are the best thing in the world and it sounds just a little nutty!

In the end isn't it better to be honest with yourself about what you want from life? We have been, and we have chosen no kids. You can say it's our loss and we'll be sorry and that's fine, that's fair. Maybe you are right. But you are NOT right to say that we are flawed, horrible people.